In your adolescent years it is quite common to receive advice about life and what is to come in adulthood. Most of this advice you tend to shelf because not only do you find yourself to be invincible, but adulthood seems like light-years away. Then one day, poof, you’re an adult and all those words that came out of your parents’ mouths suddenly start to make sense. An invaluable statement my mother made to me when I was a young girl was:
“Never lose yourself in someone or something else. Once you lose yourself, you will find you really have no one.”
At the time I thought she just said this because she hated my boyfriend and knew I deserved better (which by the way – she was right!), however she really said it because she saw a pattern forming. I would often sacrifice what was important to me or change myself to please others, especially men. I would lose myself, which ultimately resulted in my own misery.
As I grew into a woman, I started understanding more of the importance of her statement. I was responsible for my own happiness. If I lost sight of what I wanted and needed, I would never truly be happy.
Women wear many hats in life: wife, partner, mother, and employee, just to name a few. It is very easy to give all your energy and time to these obligations and forget about what’s most important – you. If you are not happy, odds are your family isn’t happy. If you are always miserable, your career is probably suffering too. It is imperative to take time to do what you like to do, even if it’s one hour a week to read a book or get a pedicure. It’s okay to divert some of that energy and attention to yourself. As a mother of two, I know it’s hard to find time and mother’s guilt can often keep you from doing things for yourself, but I will fill you in on a little secret: Not only are you worth it…you deserve it!
As we enter a New Year, make a resolution to love yourself more. Make you a priority. Ask for help when needed, and take it without feeling guilty. Go on that run every other night. Have a girl’s night where there are plenty of adult beverages to enjoy. Hell, even lock the door when you take a shower so your kids won’t come in and disrupt you.
Taking the time to unwind resets your mind and spirit. You’re just as important as your partner, your children, and your career. Remember: If momma isn’t happy – no one is.
