When Planning On The Birth Of Your New Baby – Don’t Forget This Important Detail Like I Did

Before having my first child, I read every book I could on parenting.  I studied how to care for newborns and how to get them on a sleep schedule. I obsessed over all the nursery must-haves for baby safety. I poured over article after article detailing out survival tips for making it through the first years. I even took several parenting classes at the hospital in preparation for the birth.  

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Once the time arrived for my bundle of joy to make his presence in the world, the one thing I didn’t prepare for was how to nurse him. I naively thought this little being would show me how it all worked, but unfortunately, that was not the case.

After the birth and during my short hospital stay, I summoned every nurse I could to help me. I’d ask if I was nursing correctly, I’d seek advice on how to help my son latch well – but something just didn’t feel right. I could tell my baby was not getting the amount of milk he needed. He seemed frustrated after each attempt at feeding, but the nurses would reassure me that babies have small stomachs and do not need much the first few days. Once I was released from the hospital, the panic set in. My plan to nurse him was not working out the way I had envisioned.

It was very important to me to be able to nurse my son. I wanted the nutritional benefits for him, I wanted the benefits for my recovering body, and lastly I wanted the financial benefits. When the realization set in that this may not be an option, I became severely depressed. I felt like a failure. I had let my family down. When I asked friends and family for advice, everyone had a different answer. This made matters worse. Instead of getting much needed support, I was being told everything I was doing was wrong – and for a new mom that’s the worst thing you can hear.

At my son’s one-week checkup he had lost more than a pound of his birth weight and the doctor told me it was time to consider the alternative. I broke down. When I got home, I went straight for my pump. After expressing 4 ounces of breast milk, I put it in a bottle and tried giving it to my son. To my surprise he guzzled down every last drop and the fussiness subdued. I felt victorious. From that day on, I pumped every day, 5-6 times, for the next eleven months. Eleven months! I also had enough milk frozen to get him to the one-year mark formula free.

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When my second son was born I prepared mentally to do the same thing with him. But, luckily, he took to nursing quite easily. Him and I’s nursing journey lasted just over two years. When our nursing relationship came to an end, I actually mourned. Mourned that he was my last baby and mourned that I didn’t get to experience the same journey with his older brother.

Looking back, I wish I would have known more with my first son. I could have been more prepared. I wish I would have known about all the resources out there. If I had, I wouldn’t have felt so alone. One great resource, The Honest Company, provides feeding resources for both formula and breastfeeding mommas. I also wish I wouldn’t have given up so easily. That would have saved hours of my life from being a slave to my pump. The day I retired my pump was a great day indeed!

So, my advice to new moms is to never give up. If nursing is your plan – don’t stop until you and your baby figure it out together. Yes, it will be hard and there will be days you’ll think it’s impossible. Your breasts will feel like rocks and like there’s electric currents running through them at times. But, it gets better! I promise. The bond you’ll feel with your baby is unmatched. Find support groups on Facebook, there are plenty to chose from. Find other new moms in your area to encourage and support you. And finally, always listen to your mommy instincts and go with what you know is best for you and your baby. That, in the end, is what matters most.

My Breastfeeding Truths

Note: Breastfeeding is a personal choice and I support any of my readers / friends who chose to either nurse or formula feed. This post is not about which is better because that is for moms to determine what works best for them and their babies.

Well I made it. We made it. My son officially passed his one-year mark in late November and we are still going strong with nursing. For mom’s who breastfeed, you know this is a huge accomplishment. The road was not always easy and even though he is my second child, he was my first exclusively breastfed. My older son never quite figured out the whole “latching” thing, and I was a clueless new mom who felt like a fish out of water.

Once I realized neither he nor I knew what the hell we were doing, I immediately began pumping and continued to pump every day for ten months straight. While I can say I’ve learned to truly love breastfeeding with my second son, I still definitely hate the pumping. Between both my kids I’ve spent, collectively, over 3 months time pumping. That’s a lot of nipple tugging people! I’m so over it, but because I’m a human cow – Mr. Medela and I have postponed our divorce, at least for now.

I chose to breastfeed primarily because it’s free! My first son was born during the recession and my second son was born right after I left my corporate job, so finances were tight. Also, I had heard it’s easier to get your pre-baby body back when you breastfeed. Lastly, it’s beneficial for baby.

I realize each person and each experience is different, but I thought I would share some of my “truths” of breastfeeding with new moms or soon-to-be moms who choose to nurse. Hopefully this will minimize the surprises because as a new mom – don’t we have enough of those already?

My breastfeeding truths:

  1. It HURTS. Like HELL. Then after a few weeks…. it gets better, much better. Eventually the numbness sets in and the pain subsides, so power through momma. You can do it!
  2. Know that every day you’ll eat like it’s Thanksgiving. You lose a ton of calories a day just from nursing, so you’ll feel FAMISHED all the time. I tend to take advantage of the vast amount of calories I lose and sneak in some cake.
  3. There will never be enough water to clinch your thirst. Keep a bottle of water by your bed because you’ll wake up feeling as if you spent all night crawling through the Sahara dessert.
  4. Be sure to line your bra with nursing pads. It’s all fun and games until you look down and see two large wet spots.
  5. One boob will always be bigger than the other and it’s very noticeable, especially after you nurse.
  6. When you experience the “let down” your nipple becomes a shower head and anything in its path will get sprayed, so watch out.
  7. Your boobs will never be the same again. Let the dream go. Looks like I’ll be investing in some nice bras in the future.
  8. When your breasts are full, they can knock out Evander Holyfield with one hit. He is no match for my mommy boobs.
  9. Prepare yourself for Mastitis or clogged ducts. I would consider myself to have a high tolerance for pain and Mastitis knocked me on my a**. If feels like the flu – times a thousand. If you feel like your breasts are on fire and they start to turn red DON’T wait, get on antibiotics stat! Keep nursing, massaging and use a heating pad.
  10. When teeth come into play don’t scream when they bite you, it makes them bite harder. Learned that one from experience.
  11. When they become mobile, nursing sessions turn into baby acrobatics complete with thrashing arms and legs.
  12. All of the above are worth it because of the indescribable bonding experience. Those precious moments will stay in my heart forever.

I know my nursing days are coming to a close and I will admit the thought makes my heart heavy. I’ll miss when he holds my hand or rubs my face during sessions, and I’ll miss the feeling of being truly needed. I know my schedule and body will eventually thank me once the floodgates are closed, but until then I’ll just continue to savor the bonding – and eat lots of cake.

Photo credit: Sylvia Stutz Photography
Photo credit: Sylvia Stutz Photography

 

 

I Miss Breastfeeding. Did I Just Say That?

I know most of you are vomiting in your mouths right now, especially those of you who are currently breastfeeding.  Maybe I just miss it because I am not partaking at the moment.  Or, maybe my body is tricking me into missing it to prepare me for the long months ahead after the baby is born.

I remember with my son, I almost gave up after the first week.  He didn’t want to latch on because the milk was not coming out quick enough for his liking.  Hmm, no patience – wonder where he gets that from?  We called everyone we knew who had kids to ask for advice.  Should we get a Lactation Consultant?  Does he hate me? Is my milk bad?  Is it an allergy? Reflux? Finally we just relaxed, listened to our instincts, and it worked.

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I started pumping right away because I wanted to build my supply up.  Plus after he ate, I still felt engorged so I had to release all the milk.  After a few weeks I was producing 52 oz a day. You read that right. FIFTY-TWO ounces a day. I was a cow, literally. Oddly enough, I was proud of this.  If my husband wasted or spilled any of my milk, it was his ass.  This is liquid gold people! Respect!

This is what my freezer looked like... Legit.
This is what my freezer looked like… Legit.

Once I got the hang of it, I loved it.  Of course, there were a few things not to like. For example, it dominated your daily routine. You most certainly had to plan lunch or play dates around your pumping schedule.  It also was very inconvenient when life got in the way.  I once had a six-hour flight delay, and had to pump in an airport bathroom stall. Vomit. I used the handicapped stall as it had enough room, and of course, as soon as my milk let down; knock knock.  Sh*t!  

Luckily the lady had a daughter who was breastfeeding too, and we were in Texas where people are generally nice.  She replied, “It’s ok Honey, you finish up, I can wait.”  I hugged her when I stepped out and offered her my next born out of guilt.  She laughed, and passed on my offer. Good thing, because I didn’t catch her name.

Back to why I miss it: I loved that my body could provide such great nutrition for my son, and it was free!  Formula is ri-dic-u-lous-ly expensive. I also loved for every ounce of milk you produced, 20 calories were lost. Along with working out and eating healthy, I dropped weight like a bad boyfriend!  If I had a piece of chocolate, I would turn to my friends and say, “It’s cool, I can just go pump it out!” I liked seeing their faces riddled with jealousy as they wished their boobs could pump out calories too!  To be honest, this was one of the main reasons why I did it for almost a year. Selfish? Maybe. Brilliant? Yes!

Mostly, I miss that connection with my baby.  It was a beautiful thing and made me proud to be a mom. Now, come November I want all of you to remind me of this post when I am b*tching about breastfeeding.  Until then, I will relish in my fond memories.

Me and my boo
Me and my boo