Remember when you could call up a few girlfriends on a Saturday morning and plan a night out for that evening? You could then go get a mani-pedi, shop for an outfit and may even have time for a blowout. The night usually started out with cocktails and a nice meal, followed by some dancing into the wee hours of the morning. The conversation was often centered around men, careers, travel plans or some other chick you hated at your job. You were worry-free, responsibility-free and kid-free. Those were the days.
It recently dawned on me how much my social life has changed when I planned a girl’s night out for my birthday a few weeks ago. I enlisted some friends to help because as a working mom I barely have time to eat, let alone plan a night out. All of my friends attending were moms too so we sent a “Save the Date” a month in advance. Yes, a month in advance. This was a far cry from the days of “Hey, lets go grab a drink tonight”.
The night finally came and eight of my friends were able to make it. The first stop we made was a candle-making place. This is what’s now fun to us – making candles. I guess dancing on the bar is out of the question. After we made candles we went to a winery where we indulged in cupcakes and wine. We didn’t have time for a full dinner since we all have young kids at home, but I didn’t care because these were two of my favorite things paired with great company. As we’re enjoying our wine, two of the eight girls arrived late and were already in tears as they walked through the door. Wow, we’ve just started and there are already tears? The tears used to come at the end of the night after many alcoholic beverages. We quickly got them a glass of wine and one spilled hers. This resulted in more tears.
She explained she had a sick toddler for over a week, which in mom-land seems more like a year. She hasn’t had any sleep and only hears whining around the clock. As she told us her sorrows she gulped down wine and we nodded sympathetically. My other friend has a traveling husband and works full-time herself. That alone is worth some tears. She complained about her stressful week and how she feels like she is drowning. Unfortunately, I can relate to both to both of them.
The night soon morphed into a therapy session for all of us. Sometimes no one understands better than other moms. We all complained and occasionally threw in the obligatory, “I love my kids, but”. We reminisced how girl’s night out used to be and laughed while we devoured some nachos. We discovered that none of us are Supermom, and we’re all just trying to do the best we can. Even though there was not any dancing or throwing back shots, it actually turned out to be the perfect night – for moms.
Eventually the tears turned into smiles and we marked our calendars for another girl’s mom’s night in the near future. The next morning I woke up feeling great and I was able to enjoy my kids a little more knowing my friends share in the same struggles as I do. Time-outs are just as important for moms as they are for toddlers – even if it’s just to make candles. I would, however, recommend that wine be involved too. Cheers.
