Ten Things MIL’s Do To Piss Us Off

Excited to bring you my first collaboration piece with the very talented and hilarious, Sara Sadik! We pulled together universal complaints about MIL’s and wanted to share them with you. Enjoy!

Mother-in-law’s, whether you have a great one or not, we can all agree that once grandchildren come along – the dynamic quickly changes. MIL’s somehow emerge as expert parenting know-it-alls and you become the clueless, incompetent mother. There’s an unspoken rule with moms that is somehow lost in the MIL – DIL translation and that is – when someone insults our parenting skills or our kids – we lose our sh*t. Period. No one is more defensive than a mom, and mother-in-law’s should know this. In fact, they tell us about their wicked MIL’s, yet turnaround and pull the same shenanigans on us.

I have to admit, I personally lucked out in the MIL department. My MIL tends to make suggestions verses just ramming her unsolicited advice down my throat, and she knows when I’ve hit my I can’t take this shit anymore limit, at which point she’ll offer me a cocktail as a truce – so I really can’t complain. We actually get along great, probably because we’re both a little crazy. The first time I met her she showed me a picture of herself giving birth to my now husband, and then commented on what big cajones he had as a baby. She was proud of her boy. True story. I died. Love her.

Most everyone else Sara and I know though, would move thousands of miles away just to escape their MIL’s if they could.

Clearly our mother-in-law’s raised great kids or we wouldn’t have fallen in love with their precious boys. Some of their actions prove their hearts are in the right place, and even some of their advice maybe valuable, but most of the BS – we could live without.

We are, however, convinced all MIL’s do and say things just to piss us off, and here’s ten examples Sara and I came up with to prove it:

  • They buy the loudest, most obnoxious, battery-sucking toys they can find that take weeks to put all the million pieces together, only to have our kids play with them for a few days – and then move on. We don’t want that shit, nor do we have space for it!

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  • They do the complete opposite of what we ask them to do. If we ask them not to give our kids too much sugar, they take them out for the largest ice cream brownie fudge sundae known to man right before dinner. Awesome, thanks jerks.
  • They tell our kids they can’t do something because “Mommy said no” to make us look like the assholes.
  • They finish every sentence with, “Well I raised three kids and they turned out fine.” We know that, and we are trying to do the same with our own kids.
  • They comment on your appearance. Non-stop. And never in a flattering way. “Yes, perhaps I should get a nose job but…hey, maybe I’ll get a discount when you go in for your liposuction procedure?”
  • They are always shouting. On the phone, in the car, over Skype. We effing hear you! This is cute the first time – not the 50th. Stop yelling.
  • They question everything you do with your child. “Why daycare?” Or “Why not daycare?” Or they tell you what your child likes. I know what they like, I’m with them everyday! I’m not an absent mother.
  • They buy the most horrendous outfits and expect you to dress your child in them. My advice?  Put them in the hideous puke-colored dress and snap a few pictures each with a different scenery so it looks like you actually let your child be seen in it.

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  • They are fixated on your weight. Both, pre-baby and post-baby. The obsession with your weight is only because, “she loves you,” or so your brainwashed husband likes to tell you. And then the fixation starts to include the baby. “She needs to eat more, she’s too skinny.” “What are you feeding her?” Ugh.
  • They spoil your kids rotten, break all the rules, and then send them back to you to deal with the consequences – while evil-laughing inside. Payback is a bitch, they say. We deserve it, they say.

There are few things that quickly bond women together – talk of work, marriage, the weather, and what brand of jeans makes your ass look best. But absolutely nothing bonds two women together like bitching about their MIL’s – then deciding whose is worse.

Let’s all make a promise now that we won’t be like this and if we do, we give our future daughter-in-law’s the permission to punch us in the face.

Hitchhiker’s Guide to Parenthood Injuries

Any mommy with a little one big enough to roll over has dealt with childhood injuries (if you haven’t, then start spilling those secrets you’ve been keeping). If your children are anything like mine, then even a minor injury, think scrape or bump with no physical symptoms, can provide a freak out typically reserved for the loss of a limb. As your parenting expertise grows you’re able to judge your child’s cry to injury ratio.  Then you’ll find yourself following a blood curdling scream from across the playground with a confident, haphazard rendition of, “Shake it off, Shake it off!”

But what do we do when we, the all knowing grown ups, get an owie? And I don’t mean the “stub your toe and mutter choice words under your breath” variety of owie. I’m speaking of the type of injury that involves blood gushing and a trip to the ER. How are we suppose to react when we get back home and our kids baulk at the sight of us, because Mommy is wearing a cast to protect her broken nose while her eyes continue to darken?

I was faced with this situation recently. I had an accident on Fourth of July that did not, I repeat did NOT, involve a firework, but rather running on slick, wet surfaces and meeting the sidewalk up close and personal. The shock of an injury like that doesn’t allow a mommy to keep a reassuring smile on her face while hurriedly being whisked to the doctor. In fact, an injury like that doesn’t allow for a smile at all. Instead it was met with tears and blood and ice and other grown ups rushing around frantically (I assume, because I was a bit more focused on my broken face than what the other adults were actually doing). Luckily, my kiddos didn’t actually witness me plummeting towards the ground, but they did know things were serious. Even when kids aren’t given a straight forward explanation, they know when things are bad. They can smell our stress and fear.

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I ended up needing surgery to correct my broken nose and upper jaw. My black and blue, swollen face was covered in a cast and I spoke with a lisp following the procedure. All I wanted in my post- anesthesia trance was the comfort of snuggling my littles, because sometimes mommies need feel-better snuggles too. We decided against the kids visiting right aways as we didn’t want them to be scared seeing me wrapped up like a mummy. When they finally did visit, the response wasn’t as welcoming as I had hoped.

If you’re ever in this situation, try not to take offense to their reactions as it’s a very natural response for them to either be scared, or be disgusted by the very sight of you. Instead, try some of these tips to ease you and your family’s experience:

  • Don’t crumble to pieces. It probably isn’t the best idea to start crying hysterically while grabbing for them asking why they no longer love you. To them you look like a scary villain straight out of a horror flick. They are trying to manage their emotions, too. It can only make things worse if you pressure them into being near you and your busted, scary face.
  • Reassure. While you weren’t able to give the reassuring smile directly following your trauma, now is the perfect time. Try not to lie to them by saying you aren’t hurting. Children know better (remember they can smell your fear and stress). Instead, give them a bit of truth (appropriate for their age, of course). An example could be “Mommy sure does have a big owie, but I’ll be playing again in no time!” 
  • Get them involved. My littles LOVE to help. My youngest wants to be a doctor so she pulled out all her play things and I allowed her to give me a check up. Obviously, her assessment was given on a part of my body far far away from my actual injury. She gave me a shot, a princess band-aid, and told me I would be okay! My oldest, who is more perceptive, was legitimately allowed to help. He brought me extra pillows, ice packs and even brought me water so I could take my medicine. Both situations allowed the kids to not only see me, but gave them a purpose in helping their mommy get well. Win-win.
  • Let them watch cartoons. For a couple days after surgery, I just wanted sleep. The mix of pain meds, stress, and my body trying to heal made me a zombie. So, with other fully-functioning adults in the area, I allowed them up in the bed, with a milkshake to match mine (because after facial and dental surgery what else is there to eat), and we binged watched cartoons. They were able to be close to me (and me to them), get a little treat, (which makes everything better), and I was able to take a nap surrounded by my children’s love and giggles.

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Eventually, I started feeling better and my little ones came around more often. My doctor-to-be toddler gave me follow ups, and my oldest got tired of his duties I gave him (“Jeeze mom how many pillows do you really need?!”). Despite still wearing a cast and getting strange looks out in public, life is getting back to normal.

My advice when you go through a traumatic experience in front of your children is to allow them to approach you in their own time. Don’t push them or yourself, that only worsens the situation. And lastly, don’t do a face plant on the concrete if you can help it. Obviously.

 

Why It’s Important To Surround Yourself With Inspiring People

I traveled to NYC recently for the annual BlogHer convention. This is one of my favorite conventions to attend, and this year’s line-up delivered even more than expected. BlogHer recently merged with SheKnows Media, which has a motto of “women inspiring women”, to form one powerhouse unit. I recommend anyone in media, marketing, writing, tech, blogging, editing, non-profit, sponsorship, freelance and promotion to attend if your budget and schedule allows. It’s worth it.

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It’s difficult to describe how one feels when surrounded by thousands of women who share the same vision as you. Everyone there was on a mission to not only better themselves, but to help others. At times, it was hard to control my emotions. I felt tears muster up in the corner of my eyes on more than one occasion. The tears were in response to feelings of pride, empowerment, and in some cases, sadness. Many stories were shared, an abundance of advice was given, and partnerships and friendships were made. With each session, I left feeling inspired to do more, to always try and lead by example, and prove that women really can do what ever they set out to do.

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Among the most influential speakers at BlogHer for me was Soledad O’Brien, the American broadcast journalist and philanthropist. Her few minutes on stage really touched me and inspired me to put a future goal in place. She told the story of her organization, The Starfish Media Group, which provides mentors and resources along with scholarship funds, to help young deserving people earn an education. The stories of the young ladies she’s helped really resonated with me.

I’m one of the lucky ones who did get a college education, and it was also in a time when college was expensive – but not yet out of reach. Like so many others, my parents were not financially able to cover tuition costs. I, however, was determined to get my degree. I started taking classes part-time in the Fall of 1996 and I didn’t graduate until May 2004. But, I graduated – better late than never. The only reason I was able to graduate was because I held several jobs and took out loans to cover any remaining costs. The money my parents could spare a month, was often the only way I ate or made my rent payments. It was a struggle, but my situation was cake in comparison to millions of others. As I sat there and listened to Soledad’s quest to help young women, I made my own goal to one day start a scholarship fund and award the gift of education to struggling youths who deserve a chance. Now I just need to make the money to do it. I will make it happen.

Christy Turlington also graced us with her presence. She enlightened us on the alarming statistics of  the maternal mortality rate, which is on the rise in the U.S. In a country that has the ability to prevent these deaths, this pulled at my heartstrings. If you’d like to learn more or help women get prenatal care and know their options for maternal health, please visit Every Mother Counts and share this information with others. Merck for Mothers has also launched a program dedicated to ending maternal mortality. This a 10-year, $500 million initiative focused on improving the health and well-being of mothers during pregnancy and childbirth. Awareness is key, so spread the word.

These were just a few of the many pivotal moments I experienced during the convention, but the real magic happened in-between key-notes when I connected with hundreds of other women like me – the dreamers. We talked about life as mothers, career aspirations, how we can balance it all, but most importantly – how we could help each other. I made friendships I know will last a lifetime.

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My overall takeaways and what I’d like to share with you is this:

When you surround yourself with inspirational people – you are able to drown out the noise. Noise like negativity, nay-sayers, and those who try to diminish your faith in yourself and your abilities. I know that I am someone who can make a difference – and so are you. Even if you can only help one person and that person is you, it’s a start. I am also someone who deserves success – and so are you. Lastly, I have a voice that can encourage and support other women and that’s exactly what I intend to use it for – and so should you.

In a world that perpetuates hate, we are the ones who can make a change by listening, sharing and giving. Words are powerful. Stories are powerful. Actions are powerful. When we listen – we grow. When we share – we inspire. When we give – we get. You have the power the make a difference.

 

“I still remember you as a little girl who overwaters plants because she doesn’t know when to stop giving.” – Trista Mateer

 

Baby’s First Flight: How to Get Through Air Travel With Your Sanity

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The night before our flight to visit relatives in Michigan – I couldn’t sleep. My baby was up all night as per usual, but more so because of teething and a growth spurt. My insomnia, however, was caused by trouble shooting and running through a mental checklist of what to do if my son has a full blown melt down in the middle of our first flight together. That’s right – me flying alone, with a baby. I was scared sh*tless. Thankfully we had a nonstop flight, which cut down the amount of time Baby B would have to turn into Oscar the Grouch. The next morning I took a deep breath, loaded up all our things, and said a prayer. Off we went.

Related post: Traveling With a Toddler: Cruel and Unusual Punishment


Luckily I made it through the flight and lived to tell about it. My son was so intrigued by everything, which held his attention. I will add that he also wanted to play with our seat mates and hug them a lot. They didn’t mind. Thank goodness. Overall it was a lot easier than I thought.

Here are some survival tips when traveling with infants that worked for me. Adjust as necessary for your little one:

Fill Them Up. Start them on a full stomach before you leave for the airport. Especially if you have a hike to get there.  By the time you get through ticketing and security, your LO is going to be hungry and antsy. Try to mitigate that and get them through until you can stop for a snack or lunch.

Bring Snacks, Sippy Cups/Bottles.  Even if you’re nursing like I am, bring them.  You can have them already full of milk, formula or juice. Security will do a quick dip (if at all) to test and make sure you aren’t bringing anything dangerous through. I highly considered eating a ton of poppy seeds to see if the drug compound would show up in my milk, just to mess with them. Maybe next time. Or not.

Have the Umbrella Stroller and Carrier Handy.  I brought both my sling and the folding stroller. Not only did I use the sling at our destination, but it made it much easier to get through ticketing and security. I had both my hands free to maneuver and take things in and out of bags for the screen. This also freed up the stroller to place bags in and give my shoulders a break. Word of advice: Do not take a carrier that has a metal ring on it like I did. You WILL have to take it off, however lame and obvious it is – or the detector will go off.

Play Around the Waiting Area.  Seriously. People were extremely understanding. And if they’re on your flight they’ll be grateful you’re trying to expend any extra energy out of your kid prior to takeoff.

Nurse on Takeoff/Landing. The whole “putting cotton in their ears” thing doesn’t work. I checked – with an actual medical professional. However, nursing has the same motion for baby as chewing gum, or yawning repeatedly does for us. Baby B, as hyper as he was, hunkered down for some cuddles and nursing as soon as we gathered speed, and woke up with just enough time to latch on as we started our descend. If you’re not nursing, bring a bottle with milk or formula, or a pacifier.

Let Them Down on The Floor.  Ok, maybe not if you’re on the aisle seat, but having a window seat meant I could let B down off my lap to explore, get a little distance from mom, and pull things out of his diaper bag.  Sure I had to stop him from crawling under the seat to the next row a couple times, but all in all it was a great way to keep him entertained. It also allowed me a few seconds to breathe and shake my arms out before the next round of him spinning in circles on my lap.

Related post: Seven Survival Tips When Traveling With Small Kids


Sit Near The Loo.  Each area on the plane has it’s advantages and disadvantages, but I made the mistake of sitting over the wing. Great for minimizing noise, but not so great when he had a blow out on our return to Texas! I had to lug the diaper bag through half the plane. Do yourself a favor and sit either up front or in back.

Benadryl.  Yup, I did it. It helped. Check with your pediatrician first, of course.

Trust In Your Baby.  I kept telling myself to have faith in B to be calm on the plane and not cause a ruckus. If you think they will scream the whole way, they probably will. Usually your LO picks up their parents’ vibes, so try to remain calm.

Most importantly don’t forget to bring toys, snacks, more toys, more snacks, and lots of diapers. You’ll make it through – and so will they.

Happy Travels!

Need more tips for traveling with little people? Check out the FLYING WITH KIDS App. Clever, easy to use, and everything in one place to prepare you for flying with kids. You’re welcome.

THE STRESS, SPILLS AND STENCH OF POTTY TRAINING

Every milestone in a mama and baby’s life is challenging. Some are pleasant and perhaps even enjoyable as you navigate your way to the actual accomplishment. Walking and talking are some of those “fun” ones. Potty training – not so much. It’s one of the trickiest milestones I’ve experienced so far. Mostly because training is the most vile. It’s filled with fake smiles, fake congratulations and lots of cleaning products and meditation. Which each win, I scream with excitement for her – but mostly I’m elated because it is one less accident for me to clean up.

(photo credit: http://www.quickpottytrainingonline.com)

Here are 5 other things that go through my mind when attempting to potty train my daughter:

  1. Why am I doing this again? Isn’t there a nursery that will handle this smelly milestone? There should be centers that do this as a service. Drop your kids off, pick them up in two weeks perfectly potty trained. Where can I find such a place?
  2. I’m over it. They have teenage sized diapers, right?
  3. I want to kill Elmo and that damn “potty party song”. I know I will be humming it long after she’s fallen asleep tonight.
  4. Am I doing this all wrong? Should I be giving her a gift every time she pees in the right place? How costly will this be? By the looks of it, not much.
  5. Is that water on the floor? Or pee? Or water? Crap, how many more liquids am I gonna have to do a smell test for?

While I’m worried about the mess and hurrying this process up, I’m sure she has much different thoughts.

Here are 5 things I suspect that go through my daughter’s mind while I attempt to potty train her:

  1. I think I’ll pee in this corner this morning, but will save my poop for up front and center for the smell to spread around – you know, to stay fresh.
  2. What’s the big deal if I poop near the potty? Close enough, right? Oh it has to go in there? Why didn’t you say so? Or did you? I wasn’t listening.
  3. Ahhhh! No diapers? This is much better! Freedom and a nice draft! Why were you keeping me in those bulky underwear? Wait, now I know why.
  4. I feel it coming down my leg so I’ll sit on the potty now. Wait, is that not good enough?
  5. There are so many carpets and corners I have to christen with my bowel movements. How on earth will I get it all done? And why the hell does my mom keep removing my works of art and following me around with that weird looking plastic chair?

Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s a huge milestone. I assure you, you will get through it if you remember these things and implement each of them.

Related Post: Pull Your Big Boy Pants Up

Write these down, you’ll thank me later. 

  1. Just relax…they can smell your anxiousness. Fact: They are not going to stop a two year habit in an hour. It takes time.
  2. Keep showing them where mommy pees. Yes, this is totally annoying but shouldn’t we be used to them staring at us while trying to handle our own business? That’s part of mommy hood.
  3. Buy just one potty (yes despite what many of the cultish mommy bloggers say). That’s right. I’m saying use one potty in the same place. Much like a toilet, which is essentially the point, right?
  4. Try to have the same reward you present them with every time they do it in the damn potty – and not smack dab in the middle of your living room carpet, hallway or on your shoes.            Tip: Blowing bubbles really worked for us. Much better than my husband’s suggested positive reinforcement of chocolate, which only resulted in three bouts of diarrhea – a truly enjoyable thing when potty training.
  5. Take advice from everyone but most importantly listen to your child – they will let you know when they’re ready, and follow your gut. A mom’s gut knows best!

Best of luck and and remember, we all pooped on carpets once too! This too shall pass!

Your Typical Saturday Night: Pre/Post Kids

Boy, how life changes once you have kids. Not that we were party animals or Chicago socialites prior to  parenthood, but our weekends did include sleep, festivals, non-animated movies and several adult beverages. Now they are chaotic and a bit overwhelming – but something we definitely wouldn’t change.

Here’s an ode to the good ole’ Saturdays verses what they look like now.

Enjoy.

Sometimes You Just Have to Jump

My father had a rough childhood to say the least. His family didn’t come from wealth, nor were they ever able to achieve it – monetarily. Like most large families in the 40s and 50s, everyday was a struggle. Even though he did without for most of his formative years, he never let his circumstances dampen his spirit. My father always had big dreams. He dreamed of success, adventure, travel and the like. He also knew from an early age that the only person who can change your life – is you. Armed with this innate wisdom, he left school at age 17 to join the military. When I asked him why he decided to join the Army he jokingly said, “Because I knew I would at least get one meal a day and have a roof over my head”. It was also his only chance to be someone, to become something – so he took it.

His first role in the military was a Paratrooper – because why not jump out of planes for fun? As a Paratrooper you wore shiny boots and a beret, which allowed him to stand out among a crowd of brave men. These wardrobe additions, a larger-than-life ego, some southern charm, and his infinite confidence added on at least a foot to his vertically challenged frame. He was popular among his peers and the ladies. I like to compare him to Tom Cruise in Top Gun; he followed the rules just enough not to get kicked out, but broke them just enough to earn respect.

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After a few near death experiences, some parachute malfunctions, being the subject of search and rescue efforts, the threat of being sent to Vietnam and being separated from his family, my father decided to find a new role – on land. Now responsible for little lives, he worked even harder to excel in his career. He sacrificed time with us so he could provide more than he had as a child, which made him a great dad. He pushed himself to the limits – mentally and physically. Anytime someone doubted his abilities, he’d work harder to prove them wrong. Even if he didn’t know what he was doing, he would fake it until he became it. When he accomplished one mission or became an expert in his field, he was on to the next one – never settling.

When I was young he would always encourage me to find my own way, be a problem-solver, and chase my dreams. Even if he wanted to jump in and save me, he’d let me figure things out for myself because he knew in the long run it would make me stronger. If I were ever discouraged he’d remind me that everyone, no matter who they are, puts their pants on one leg at a time. He knew all five of his kids were capable of accomplishing whatever we set out to do – and we have.

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He went from a poor kid with a head full of dreams, to achieving many honors in two branches of the military and achieved success in civilian life. He holds a masters degree and attended law school. His expertise was utilized in all areas ranging from the Space Shuttle Training programs to the International Treaty and Anti-Terrorist Prevention programs. He retired after 45 years of service to our country. Now battling cancer, he’s still a fighter. He takes each day with a grain of salt, as he knows life still has a plan and he’s not afraid to see where it takes him.

It’s because of this drive and the faith my parents always had in me, I’ve been fearless in my own endeavors. Ultimately, my dreams have come true because I was never afraid to jump. For that, Dad – I thank you. Happy Father’s Day. Love you.

“Sometimes you just have to jump and life will always find a way to hand you a parachute.”

 

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It’s HERE! I’m Officially An Author!

Hi Family, Friends and MG2S Followers,

The day has come! Martinis & Motherhood: Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?! has arrived. I’m honored to be apart of this book – and be among such talented writers. When I left my corporate career I loved to follow my aspirations of becoming a writer, I never thought in just two short years I’d be able to add, “Author” to my résumé. It’s pretty surreal. Thank you for all your support and loyalty!

As a “thank you”, I’m doing a GIVEAWAY for a free copy of the book! To enter: comment below or “like” and comment on our Facebook page. If you share the post, you’ll get an additional entry. I’ll announce the winner on Friday. Good luck and I know you’ll love the book as much as I do!

Below you can read all about it and meet the other contributors!

Purchase the book here and read all the great reviews so far: BUY BOOK 

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Martinis and motherhood go hand in hand, but not in a drown-your-sorrows sort of way. We view the relationship, between mom and martini, sort of like that of child and ice cream sundae. It’s a treat! One that busy moms deserve to indulge in. Martini (or mocktini) sipping is a celebratory, and victorious, act best enjoyed in the company of fellow mom friends. Here, within the pages of Martinis & Motherhood you’ll find heart string yanking stories of wonder, coffee spewing tales of woe, and utterly ridiculous accounts of WTF?!; all written by moms who are a lot like you. Each story is paired with a simple-to-make martini that looks fab and tastes divine, as well as a shareable toast to celebrate some of motherhood’s many toast-worthy moments. After the bums are all wiped and the lunches are made; after the homework is done and the sheets have been changed; after we’ve chauffeured, escorted, worried to the max, our sanity’s been questioned, our legs- still un-waxed; after we’ve kissed it all better, and bid them goodnight; we moms deserve to have something that’s just right. * Insert beautiful martini. We hope that you’ll buy our book and that you’ll see yourself, and your own experiences, in the tales that we share. We believe that great things happen when we open-up to other moms, about our moments of wonder, woe, and WTF?! We are hopeful that our stories help you feel connected to other mothers, a bit more normal within the chaos of everyday life, and less alone on your journey through motherhood.

Martinis & Motherhood – Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?!

Tipsy Squirrel Press

First Print Edition: June 2015

Meet the other awesome writers:

Tellers of Wonder
Lynn Morrison nomadmomdiary.com
Angila Peters detachedfromlogic.com
Magnolia Ripkin magnoliaripkin.com
Louise Gleeson latenightplays.com
Jocelyn Pihlaja omightycrisis.com.com
Alison Huff crumbsdown.com
Leigh-Mary Barone Hoffmann happilyeverlaughterblog.com
Shannon Drury theradicalhousewife.com
Patricia Mirchandani raising-humans.com
Lauren Stevens lo-wren.com
Cordelia Newlin de Rojas multilingualmama.com
Sarah Deveau doingallthethings.com

Tellers of Woe
Shannon Day martinisandmotherhood.com
Tara Wilson dontlickthedeck.com
Vicki Lesage vickilesage.com
Abby the Writer littlemissperfect.com
Brooke Takhar missteenussr.com
Kate Parlin shakespearesmom.com
Christina Antus christinaantus.net
Jennifer Baird-Dean thechiofjen.com
Sara Park crcrsmommyblog.com
Tamara Schroeder thattamiam.com
Kristen Hansen Brakeman kristenbrakeman.com
Lori Lu Green LeRoy theinadequateconception.com
Carolyn Mackenzie Global’s Carolyn Mackenzie on FB

Tellers of WTF?!
Susanne Kerns thedustyparachute.com
Sarah Halsall del Rio established1975.com
Lisa Webb canadianexpatmom.com
Jessica D’Andrea Kapp jesskapp.com
Kim McDonald twobugsandablog.com
Lisa Carmody Doiron momologues-soliloquies.com
Olga Mecking europeanmama.com
Holly Rust mothersguidetosanity.com
Kathryn Leehane foxywinepocket.com
Jill Hudkins Robbins rippedjeansandbifocals.com
Kristine Laco mumrevised.com
Andrea Mulder-Slater noreallyandrea.com

Guest Post by Dr. Linda F. Palmer: 10 Valuable Things Your Baby’s Poop Can Tell You

Thank you to Dr. Linda F. Palmer for sharing her expertise with us! See her insight below.

Most parents spend an abundant amount of time worrying about what goes into their baby without realizing the great value of observing the substance that comes out. What can you learn from the stuff in baby’s diaper?

poop face

  1. Whether baby tolerates her food: If baby has frequent, possibly green, watery explosions without fever, has infrequent or hard stools, or alternates between these two, it’s very likely that she is not tolerating certain proteins in her formula or in her breastfeeding mother’s diet. Little bits of red blood or black digested blood in the stools can also result from food reactions. Cow milk proteins are the most common cause.
  2. Whether baby’s liver function is impaired: When poops are getting lighter in color, approaching light tan, gray, or white, this is a sign that something is blocking baby’s bile duct; some kind of liver, pancreas, or bile duct inflammation is developing. A call to the doctor during office hours is in line. If this appearance occurs after giving baby Tylenol, make an emergency call to the doctor.
  3. When someone sneaks in a bottle of formula: When an exclusively breastfed baby’s mustard-colored poop is suddenly brown, either the child is receiving iron supplements or has been exposed to a bottle of formula or to some solid foods. The color change signifies impairment to the highly protective bacterial flora that only exclusive breastfeeding brings.
  4. Whether baby is sick: A sudden appearance of watery poops, with repeat performances, can signify a bacterial or viral intestinal illness, as can green poops. These all can also result from food intolerance reactions. Often fever will accompany an intestinal illness, along with tiredness and fussiness. Rashes around the mouth or on the bottom commonly accompany food reactions whereas fuller-body rashes may occur from various bacterial or viral illnesses.
  5. Whether baby is digesting solids: When starting solid foods, if they come out looking an awful lot like they did going in, they did not get digested, meaning that baby is not yet ready for this step. Little black threads may result from poorly digested banana. It’s not a concern, but may be a hint to wait a while longer.
  6. Whether nutrients are being absorbed well: Poop that is orange, or more yellow than usual, and appears greasy or shiny, is a sign that baby is not absorbing certain nutrients well. A common cause of malabsorption is gluten (wheat) intolerance, also known as celiac disease.
  7. Whether baby is receiving too much iron: Excess iron will appear as dark green-black in baby’s stools. When regularly appearing in the poop, it is clearly not being absorbed. Likely a baby receiving iron supplements or consuming a high iron formula could benefit from a lower daily dose of iron, as non-absorbed iron is not only oxidizing but often causes problematic constipation.
  8. Whether baby has freeloading creatures: When tiny white threads appear in baby’s poop, or peek out at you from baby’s pooper, these are little wormy creatures living in baby’s intestines. They need to be exterminated, either with standard worm medication (which may lead to yeast infection) or possibly through a natural treatment regimen of garlic and ginger.
  9. Whether baby has a penchant for crayons: The occasional baby will find something to chew on that they shouldn’t. Brightly colored flakes mean that baby has found big brother’s crayons. Among foods, artificial food colorings in icing, candies, or gelatin desserts can lead to some colorful results, as can healthy berries or beets.
  10. Whether baby has a bowel obstruction: Poop that looks raspberry colored, like red currant jelly, with gel-like blood and mucus, represents a kind of intestinal blockage known as intussusception. This needs urgent medical attention. Don’t wait for a doctor to call you back.

Linda F. Palmer, DC, is the author of Pinnacle Award-winning “Baby Poop, What Your Pediatrician May Not Tell You… about Colic, Reflux, Constipation, Green Stools, Food Allergies, and Your Child’s Immune Health.” She left her 11-year nutrition-oriented chiropractic practice after the health challenges of her newborn son overwhelmed her. Perplexed by the lack of appropriate advice from pediatric sources, her extensive literature research led to her first, IPPY Award-winning book, Baby Matters, What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Caring for Your Baby.

Hyperlinks:

http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Poop-Pediatrician-Constipation-Allergies/dp/0975317024

http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Matters-Revised-3rd-Edition/dp/0975317040

Website:

www.BabyReference.com

 

 

Mom-Hacks We’re All Guilty Of

Motherhood, along with all of life’s obligations, can often have you looking for any shortcut possible to make it through another day. Parenting, to most of us, is pretty much a daily quest for survival. If anyone says they don’t take shortcuts out of exhaustion or pure laziness from time-to-time when it comes to parenting – they’re full of sh*t. Doing the best you can, when you can, does not make you an awful  parent; it makes you awesome.

So next time you find yourself doing one of these mom-hacks below – know that most of us have too, or at least have thought about it.

Drop your older kid off at school and the younger kids are still in their pajamas. This only means you’re being resourceful with your time and energy – not being a bad mom. Hell, the other parents are lucky you wear yoga pants to bed or you’d be in straight up pajamas, too.

jamm

Look at your phone while your kids are playing at the park. I had a women tell me once I shouldn’t look at my phone because I was with my kids. She, of course, was kid-free so easy for her to say. Yes, you look at your phone to peep Facebook. So what? It’s normal to want to feel connected to other adults when you’re stuck in kid-prison all day. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids or enjoy your time with them, it means that every now and again you need a mental break from them. This is normal people so lay off the judgment. If you’re so amazing, go pat yourself on your perfect back while I scroll on my iPhone.

Feed your kids cereal for dinner a few nights a week. Some nights you just can’t muster up the energy to cook a meal, or even a boxed meal for that matter. Kids love cereal, it’s easy to make, and it’s food. Voilá.

You let water-play outside suffice as a bath. Hey, it’s water and it rinses off all the dirt and sweat. There’s no fighting to get your kids to do it. You don’t have to wash their hair. You don’t have to clean up a gallon of water off the bathroom floor, nor do you get soaked in the process. Sounds like a dream to me!

sprinkler

You run (not walk) out of the house for a girl’s night. You need a break, too. When you get a mental break; your kids benefit as well. Take as much alone time as you need, and do it without the guilt. Having time to yourself allows you to come back refreshed and with guns blazing to survive another day. You deserve it!

Some days being a mediocre parent is all we can be; and that is something to still be proud of. As long as your kids know they’re infinitely loved and they have all the essentials ­– I would say that’s a parenting win.