Body Changes After Pregnancy – What to Expect

Pregnancy truly is a blessed state, during which most moms-to-be just beam with a particular glow unmatched by anything else, a glow that cannot be replicated. Of course, every future mom experiences pregnancy in a different way – we are all different after all. That is why every postpartum experience is different as well and every woman goes through her specific changes. Still, there are some common issues every new mom-body goes through, and so we have come up with a list of the most frequent issues women endure after giving birth, along with some useful tips on how to tackle the issues and go back to your normal self as soon as possible.

 The New Mommy Tummy

Yes, you are not very happy with the appearance of your tummy, and all the weight in that area did not just magically disappear with the arrival of your bundle of joy. The first thing you must learn (as a mom and a woman) is to have a bit of patience. Your uterus needs time to contract and it will take up to six weeks for it to go back to normal and stop pressing your navel. Stretch marks are also very common, but their occurrence is completely normal as your tummy skin has had quite the workout. One thing that can help with that is a natural and organic stretch mark oil, not only after the pregnancy but during it as well. It is better to go organic, as these types of products will not harm your skin, or your baby. Be patient and persistent in your stretch mark battle. Bonus: it is best to apply it after showering; moist skin will absorb the oil more quickly, giving it a better chance at making an impact. The rest of the tummy weight will slowly start to melt away since you will be running around more than ever, so just give it time and enjoy being a mom

Where Are My Gorgeous Locks?

All future moms read about this, but it still comes as a shock when you notice that your hair is falling out so rapidly, and yes, you even become a bit concerned. This however, is one of the most common occurrences after the labor, plus, during the pregnancy you were actually losing way less hair than the average person (thanks to hormones) so this discrepancy can seem shockingly huge. If, however, you want your thick hair back as soon as possible and cannot bear to wait six months for your hormones to go back to normal, you can always consult your doctor who can prescribe some vitamins for hair health and shampoos that can expedite the hair-regain process.

Whose Breasts Are These?

Right after giving birth you might find your breast unrecognizable, as they will probably become flushed, swollen, sore and engorged with milk for a day or two after the birth. Once this swelling goes down, in about three to four days (or until you stop breastfeeding), your breasts will probably begin to sag as a result of the stretched skin. You may also experience milk leakage for several weeks, even if you don’t breastfeed.

This is all perfectly normal, text-book actually, so do not worry. Still, there are safe and organic breast lotions that your Lamaze teacher can and usually does recommend, to help with swelling (as well as tenderness and soreness that come from breastfeeding). If your teacher did not mention these, feel free to ask your doctor for a safe lotion. You deserve to be as comfortable and swelling-free as possible.

A Plague of Acne

Unfortunately, after you give birth, your skin will lose some of the pregnancy glow. Even though you will be super-busy with your baby, you should steal every moment to sleep (of course), stay hydrated, but also take care of the skin of your face. The appearance of acne is mostly due to soaring progesterone and estrogen fluctuations that in turn lead to increased sebum production and clogged pores. In this case cleansers, toners and moisturizers containing benzoyl peroxide are best to penetrate and unclog the pores, and they are completely safe for breastfeeding moms.

Always remember, you are a goddess that has just gone through the most divine thing – creating life. Make sure you enjoy every minute of it, even the sleepless nights and the exhaustion. When you look at your little bundle of joy, and see the beauty you have brought into the world, you’ll know it was all worth it. Use every chance you get to sleep, and eventually even hit the gym and get your old body back. In the meantime, do not worry so much, everything will go back to normal with just a little bit of help, and we hope you will find these tips helpful. Now go, and enjoy motherhood!

How You REALLY Want to Respond to Unwanted Parenting Advice

If you’re a mom, you’ve received unwanted advice at some point during your parenting journey – it’s a given. Most of the time, out of politeness, the average mom will just smile and nod whenever bombarded with all the inappropriate parenting suggestions thrown at her. But just for fun, here are responses to some common unsolicited advice we all (including me!) really WISH we could say:

  • “You really should sleep when the baby sleeps.” Are YOU going come over and clean my entire house and do laundry? Didn’t think so.
  • “Why can’t you come to our dinner party that starts at 8 pm? Bring your daughter, too!” Um, how about… No! Do you know what happens to a child if they stay up past their bedtime? The nightmare becomes mine!
  • “She just frowned. She must be ill. You should take her to the doctor.” Please zip it.
  • “Why don’t you bring her to this extortionately priced place for a playdate?”  To play for an hour and be over it, and then I’m out half a paycheck? Why don’t you just stop talking?
  • “Speak to her in French/German/Swahili! Kids can pick up lots of languages super easily.” I wish you would not speak at all.
  • “She needs her freedom. Take her out of the stroller.” Your mouth is so pretty when its shut!
  • “If you feed her while she sits on your lap instead of the high-chair, she’ll probably eat more.” Stop. Please.
  • “Why do you put her to bed so early? Let her stay up and play some more!” Because I need a break, too! Seriously. Stop.
  • “Remember that awesome cake/meal you made before you had a baby? You should totally make one of those again. Today!” Do you remember that awesome time you shut up? Make your own meal!
  • “You need to stop cuddling her so much, or you’ll end up spoiling her.” I really can’t recall asking for your opinion.
  • “Hold on, I’m going to send you a really long video of my kid doing ____ and you have to watch it to the end, which is the best part.” Sure, because I have all the time in the world. No. Just no.
  • “You should try feeding her ___” (insert name of food item that I’m clearly not feeding her). Are you kidding me right now? You should try to STFU. 
  • “You need to be firmer with her. If you don’t put her in her place from now, she’ll never know who’s boss.” It’s you I need to be firmer with!
  • “Why don’t you dip her pacifier in some juice so she enjoys it more?” Please, shut your pie hole!
  • “Oh just take her out of the car seat for a while. She doesn’t like it.” Thanks Captain Obvious. Can I lock you in one?
  • Start potty training her even if she’s not ready. It’ll be a breeze.” You’re hurting my ears!
  • “The latest research suggests you should ban screen-time completely.” All I’m hearing right now is blah, blah blah. I need to ban you!
  • “Why don’t you just have another baby now, and get it all done in one go?” Why don’t you just get your vocal cords removed?
  • “Aren’t those your maternity jeans? We should go shopping this weekend to buy you a new pair.” Or… You should shut up.
  • “You really need a haircut.” No shit, Sherlock. Why don’t you watch my kid so I can go?
What are some things you’re tired of hearing?? Let’s commiserate!
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GUEST POST: When Your Kid Will Poop – by Norine of Science of Parenthood

Because you can’t talk about motherhood without including a “poop” story… my lovely friend, Norine, over at Science of Parenthood, offered to share this hilarious tale of a near poop disaster. Enjoy!

 

When will your kid poop … or pee for that matter? Well, it sure as hell won’t be the 10 times you ask if he has to use the potty. A child will always wait till the least convenient moment. And then he’ll have to go immediately.

My son was 3 when we were flying home to Orlando after my cousin’s wedding in Denver. My husband had had to work, so it was just the two of us, knocking around the Denver airport waiting to board our flight.

“Do you have to go potty?” I’d asked when we got to the airport.

He shook his head vehemently. “No.”

“Do you have to go potty?” I’d asked before we went through security.

“No.”

“Do you have to go potty?” I’d asked when we got to our gate.

“No.”

“Do you have to go potty?” I’d asked as they started boarding our flight.

“No.”

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And so we settled into our seats in the bulkhead and fastened our seat belts. My son busied himself looking out the window at the planes maneuvering around the gates. I opened a New York magazine, I’d been looking forward to reading. (When your kid’s a toddler, how often do you get time to read something other than a board book?) I bared noticed when we pushed back from the gate and began rolling toward the runway. And then …

“Mommy…”

“Hmmm,” I murmured, absently.

“Mommy! …” he said, a bit more insistently.

“Yes?” I said, without looking up from the page.

“MOMMY!”

“What???” I turned to look at him.

“I need to go potty.”

“Now?!? Why didn’t you go when I asked you to?”

“I didn’t have to go before. I have to go now.”

Of course, he did. I looked around helplessly. I didn’t know what to do, what I could do. So I rang the Call button.

A flight attendant appeared almost instantly. “What can I do for you?”

“My son needs to go potty,” I explained. “Can we just pop into the bathroom, like super fast?”

She shook her head. “We’re next in line for takeoff,” she said. (Of course we were!) “Can he hold it?”

I certainly hoped so. I had no extra clothes in my bag, and the thought of spending the four-hour flight with a stinky, wet, cold, whining child wasn’t a happy one.

I have to say the next 25 minutes were among the tensest in my life as I parried my son’s repeated potty pleas with Not yet, Soon, In a few minutes and the increasingly desperate, Almost, baby. Just hold it a little bit longer.

As soon as I felt the plane level off, I rang the Call button again.

“Can I take him now?” I begged the flight attendant. “Please!”

“The seatbelt sign is lit, so I can’t tell you that you can get up,” she said.

“Are you gonna stand in my way?”

“Nope,” she said with a smile, moving aside so I could scoop my boy out of his seat and into the lavatory.

A few minutes later, we slid back into our seats, one dry, not poopy boy and one very relieved mom.

As we buckled our seat belts again, the flight attendant reappeared. “I thought you could use this,” she said with infinite kindness. Then she placed a cup of ice and a bottle of Stoli on my tray table.

 

If you loved this story, you need to hurry on over to Amazon to purchase the SOP book immediately!

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Norine Dworkin-McDaniel is co-author with illustrator Jessica Ziegler of Science of Parenthood: Thoroughly Unscientific Explanations for Utterly Baffling Parenting Situations released in November by She Writes Press. It’s available on Amazon and wherever books are sold. Follow Norine and Jessica on their blog, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Is Science of Parenthood coming to your town? Check out our tour schedule. Want Science of Parenthood to come to your town? Message us!

POP Open the Champs ~ It’s time for a big GIVEAWAY!

**BIG GIVEAWAY** Tis’ the season of thanks and giving back!

The lovely people at Chicco reached out to me in August and asked if I’d be interested in trying their new Stack Chair, which is a 3-in-1 chair that grows with your child. I was immediately excited and accepted the generous offer. IMG_3586

Their new campaign is all about celebrating a child’s firsts. A child’s firsts are always special – from their first full night’s sleep to their first steps. As the official sponsor of firsts, one area of firsts they’re celebrating at Chicco are first foods! From the first solid to the first time he or she uses a spoon to the first birthday cake, food milestones are a big part of every child’s life.

So in honor of celebrating #FirstFood moments and Chicco’s new Stack Chair, a new 3-in-1 Multi-Chair that grows with your child from a traditional highchair to a booster and then a stool, they also offered to sponsor a giveaway!

They want this chair to be there as babies try their first foods until the first time they help set the table. It’s a great product for parents who don’t want to buy a new highchair every couple years, and it has premium features including a padded, 3-position reclining seat, convenient tray that snaps on with one hand and much more.

I’ve used mine for over a month now and love it. It’s a space saver, which is important to me too. It’s sleek and has a fun colorful design. We are going to transition my son into the booster seat in the next month and he’ll be thrilled to sit at the “big boy” table with this brother.

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Here is a demo:

 

To enter the giveaway: 

  • comment “enter” below with your name
  • **Please feel free to enter someone you know that may need it and does not have the financial means to buy their own**
  • Along with your name, type in the hashtag #FirstFood
  • If you share this post on social media you’ll get additional entrees.

*Winner will be announced Friday, November 20.

Good luck!

A Letter To My Son On His First Day of Kindergarten

Here I am. Here we are. Your first day of kindergarten is tomorrow. I spent all summer telling myself I couldn’t wait for this day so you would have more to do, and I would have an easier schedule to fit chores, work, and even some play in. As much as I’d like to celebrate and relish in all the free time I’ll now have since my little baby, wait, I mean my big boy, is headed to kindergarten – I’m more so feeling empty inside with a tinge of guilt.

Did I spend as much time as I wanted to with him?

Did I savor all the precious moments?

Will I regret wishing some of the days away?

Where did the time go?

Maybe I’m not ready to send him off into the world – just yet. 

It seems not too long ago, I was looking into his eyes for the first time and stroking his baby soft skin making a promise that I’d always take care of him, and love him unconditionally. I was wearing him on my body and singing him lullabies as he stared up at me in awe. I was laughing uncontrollably at his baby-giggles, and helping him up each time he fell when learning to walk. It feels like just yesterday I cheered him on when he made his first pee-pee in the potty, and every night we cuddled as we read Goodnight Moon together. Now, here I am setting his clothes out, packing his lunch, and preparing him for our first day of kindergarten. Has it really been five years? How did this happen, already?

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He attended pre-K last year, so why is this year so difficult for me? Why is this incredible milestone hitting me like a ton of bricks? Maybe because kindergarten is not a choice, it’s mandatory. Maybe it’s the realization I have to share him now, and my influence will soon be one of many. Or, maybe my heart is hurting because I can recall, from my own childhood, that kindergarten is really when your memories start to include more friends, teachers and coaches, when up until now – I was the center of his universe.

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On one hand, I want to be excited for my son. I want him tackle obstacles on his own. I want him to learn from others what I’m unable to teach him. I want him to be independent and have life experiences that don’t always include me – I really do. But on the other hand, I want him to need me forever. I want to keep him in this perpetual state of innocence. I want that look of pride to remain on his face when he hands me a picture he made me – just a little bit longer. I’m not ready to share him. I’m not ready to let him go. I don’t I think I’ll ever be.

We spend our entire childhoods in what seems like an eternity, only to grow older and now find ourselves frantically searching for the brakes. As mothers, we try to savor every beautiful moment of parenting, but too often we get lost in the daily grind. Inevitably, time slips through our fingertips. So tonight on the eve of kindergarten, I will watch my baby sleep just one last time, for tomorrow he will awaken as a big boy. I’ll hold onto this moment for as long as I can and take solace in knowing we made it to this point together. I’ll stare at his perfect little face, hold his chubby little fingers, and remain lying next to him until time forces me against my will – to let go.

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Embracing The “Suck” of Motherhood

Sometimes you just have to let go.

Sometimes you have to change your expectations and attitude.

Sometimes you have to embrace the suck.

Welcome to motherhood. Where the rules are often made up, life changes on a dime, and the particulars no longer matter.

Like that one time I spent 4 months getting up every 45 minutes to nurse because that’s what my baby now wanted and became so sleep deprived – I was literally walking into walls.

Or that one period when my baby’s first three teeth came came in all at once. (What a nightmare!) Tylenol, teething tablets, and frozen bananas didn’t even come close to calming him and there’s nothing worse than watching your child wail in pain – and you can’t do anything about it.

photo credit: mommasaid.net
photo credit: mommasaid.net

Each and every period of difficulty seems to be never ending. Sometimes I cry buckets of tears, I yell at myself and my baby in intervals, and even yell at God. Why was this happening? Why couldn’t He just give me a break? Is this really too much to ask?

And then the answer came: “Just let it go. It doesn’t matter, anyway. Just let it go.”

“Screw You! I’m so tired, I can’t do this, I can’t just let it go! How am I supposed to just ‘let go’ of not sleeping? I won’t accept it, I will make this kid sleep!”

“If you say so. Then when you’re ready, let go.”

Weeks and months went by of battling what couldn’t be battled, attempting to force something to my will. This was mine and my husband’s son, I should have known better. All in vain, all futile.

One night after another hour long put down/cry/pick-up/rock/put down/repeat cycle, I simply said to him “Ok, I’ll stay with you, you sleep with me tonight. Let me know when you’re ready.”  That’s when the magic happened. I finally embraced the suck, I accepted that I was not in control, and I started to let go of the anger, the frusteration, the helplessness. And things started to turn around, not all at once, but they started.

Our kids are their own person. We’ve become so used to them being our babies while in our womb, we forget they have their own thoughts, feelings, and ideas of how they need to do things. They’re not little adults, they will have plenty of time to get used to doing what other people want and demand of them, so let them be a kid now. As adults we are used to feeling like we have to be in control all the time, and for a tiny little being to render us so completely out of our element, can really stretch a person – and bring up all kinds of emotions. Some of these emotions are negative and may even originate from our own childhoods. Trying not to yell at them the way you were yelled at. Trying to make sure they feel respected, while reminding them YOU are the one in charge. It’s exhausting, draining, and frusterating.

Then, right when you are about to lose it, you somehow manage to realize –  it just doesn’t matter.  Can our little ones irritate us to the point of checking ourselves in for a psych evaluation? Perhaps. Will it always be like this? No, and when it changes – it’s pure magic.

So you shed some tears, that’s normal. Sometimes you’re shaking in anger, or exhausted in defeat. All normal.

Next time you’re feeling this way, open your eyes wider to see that perfect smile and those beautiful little eyes looking at you with pure unconditional love.

Then you can embrace the suck.

And you let it go.

And it is beautiful.​

Hitchhiker’s Guide to Parenthood Injuries

Any mommy with a little one big enough to roll over has dealt with childhood injuries (if you haven’t, then start spilling those secrets you’ve been keeping). If your children are anything like mine, then even a minor injury, think scrape or bump with no physical symptoms, can provide a freak out typically reserved for the loss of a limb. As your parenting expertise grows you’re able to judge your child’s cry to injury ratio.  Then you’ll find yourself following a blood curdling scream from across the playground with a confident, haphazard rendition of, “Shake it off, Shake it off!”

But what do we do when we, the all knowing grown ups, get an owie? And I don’t mean the “stub your toe and mutter choice words under your breath” variety of owie. I’m speaking of the type of injury that involves blood gushing and a trip to the ER. How are we suppose to react when we get back home and our kids baulk at the sight of us, because Mommy is wearing a cast to protect her broken nose while her eyes continue to darken?

I was faced with this situation recently. I had an accident on Fourth of July that did not, I repeat did NOT, involve a firework, but rather running on slick, wet surfaces and meeting the sidewalk up close and personal. The shock of an injury like that doesn’t allow a mommy to keep a reassuring smile on her face while hurriedly being whisked to the doctor. In fact, an injury like that doesn’t allow for a smile at all. Instead it was met with tears and blood and ice and other grown ups rushing around frantically (I assume, because I was a bit more focused on my broken face than what the other adults were actually doing). Luckily, my kiddos didn’t actually witness me plummeting towards the ground, but they did know things were serious. Even when kids aren’t given a straight forward explanation, they know when things are bad. They can smell our stress and fear.

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I ended up needing surgery to correct my broken nose and upper jaw. My black and blue, swollen face was covered in a cast and I spoke with a lisp following the procedure. All I wanted in my post- anesthesia trance was the comfort of snuggling my littles, because sometimes mommies need feel-better snuggles too. We decided against the kids visiting right aways as we didn’t want them to be scared seeing me wrapped up like a mummy. When they finally did visit, the response wasn’t as welcoming as I had hoped.

If you’re ever in this situation, try not to take offense to their reactions as it’s a very natural response for them to either be scared, or be disgusted by the very sight of you. Instead, try some of these tips to ease you and your family’s experience:

  • Don’t crumble to pieces. It probably isn’t the best idea to start crying hysterically while grabbing for them asking why they no longer love you. To them you look like a scary villain straight out of a horror flick. They are trying to manage their emotions, too. It can only make things worse if you pressure them into being near you and your busted, scary face.
  • Reassure. While you weren’t able to give the reassuring smile directly following your trauma, now is the perfect time. Try not to lie to them by saying you aren’t hurting. Children know better (remember they can smell your fear and stress). Instead, give them a bit of truth (appropriate for their age, of course). An example could be “Mommy sure does have a big owie, but I’ll be playing again in no time!” 
  • Get them involved. My littles LOVE to help. My youngest wants to be a doctor so she pulled out all her play things and I allowed her to give me a check up. Obviously, her assessment was given on a part of my body far far away from my actual injury. She gave me a shot, a princess band-aid, and told me I would be okay! My oldest, who is more perceptive, was legitimately allowed to help. He brought me extra pillows, ice packs and even brought me water so I could take my medicine. Both situations allowed the kids to not only see me, but gave them a purpose in helping their mommy get well. Win-win.
  • Let them watch cartoons. For a couple days after surgery, I just wanted sleep. The mix of pain meds, stress, and my body trying to heal made me a zombie. So, with other fully-functioning adults in the area, I allowed them up in the bed, with a milkshake to match mine (because after facial and dental surgery what else is there to eat), and we binged watched cartoons. They were able to be close to me (and me to them), get a little treat, (which makes everything better), and I was able to take a nap surrounded by my children’s love and giggles.

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Eventually, I started feeling better and my little ones came around more often. My doctor-to-be toddler gave me follow ups, and my oldest got tired of his duties I gave him (“Jeeze mom how many pillows do you really need?!”). Despite still wearing a cast and getting strange looks out in public, life is getting back to normal.

My advice when you go through a traumatic experience in front of your children is to allow them to approach you in their own time. Don’t push them or yourself, that only worsens the situation. And lastly, don’t do a face plant on the concrete if you can help it. Obviously.

 

THE STRESS, SPILLS AND STENCH OF POTTY TRAINING

Every milestone in a mama and baby’s life is challenging. Some are pleasant and perhaps even enjoyable as you navigate your way to the actual accomplishment. Walking and talking are some of those “fun” ones. Potty training – not so much. It’s one of the trickiest milestones I’ve experienced so far. Mostly because training is the most vile. It’s filled with fake smiles, fake congratulations and lots of cleaning products and meditation. Which each win, I scream with excitement for her – but mostly I’m elated because it is one less accident for me to clean up.

(photo credit: http://www.quickpottytrainingonline.com)

Here are 5 other things that go through my mind when attempting to potty train my daughter:

  1. Why am I doing this again? Isn’t there a nursery that will handle this smelly milestone? There should be centers that do this as a service. Drop your kids off, pick them up in two weeks perfectly potty trained. Where can I find such a place?
  2. I’m over it. They have teenage sized diapers, right?
  3. I want to kill Elmo and that damn “potty party song”. I know I will be humming it long after she’s fallen asleep tonight.
  4. Am I doing this all wrong? Should I be giving her a gift every time she pees in the right place? How costly will this be? By the looks of it, not much.
  5. Is that water on the floor? Or pee? Or water? Crap, how many more liquids am I gonna have to do a smell test for?

While I’m worried about the mess and hurrying this process up, I’m sure she has much different thoughts.

Here are 5 things I suspect that go through my daughter’s mind while I attempt to potty train her:

  1. I think I’ll pee in this corner this morning, but will save my poop for up front and center for the smell to spread around – you know, to stay fresh.
  2. What’s the big deal if I poop near the potty? Close enough, right? Oh it has to go in there? Why didn’t you say so? Or did you? I wasn’t listening.
  3. Ahhhh! No diapers? This is much better! Freedom and a nice draft! Why were you keeping me in those bulky underwear? Wait, now I know why.
  4. I feel it coming down my leg so I’ll sit on the potty now. Wait, is that not good enough?
  5. There are so many carpets and corners I have to christen with my bowel movements. How on earth will I get it all done? And why the hell does my mom keep removing my works of art and following me around with that weird looking plastic chair?

Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s a huge milestone. I assure you, you will get through it if you remember these things and implement each of them.

Related Post: Pull Your Big Boy Pants Up

Write these down, you’ll thank me later. 

  1. Just relax…they can smell your anxiousness. Fact: They are not going to stop a two year habit in an hour. It takes time.
  2. Keep showing them where mommy pees. Yes, this is totally annoying but shouldn’t we be used to them staring at us while trying to handle our own business? That’s part of mommy hood.
  3. Buy just one potty (yes despite what many of the cultish mommy bloggers say). That’s right. I’m saying use one potty in the same place. Much like a toilet, which is essentially the point, right?
  4. Try to have the same reward you present them with every time they do it in the damn potty – and not smack dab in the middle of your living room carpet, hallway or on your shoes.            Tip: Blowing bubbles really worked for us. Much better than my husband’s suggested positive reinforcement of chocolate, which only resulted in three bouts of diarrhea – a truly enjoyable thing when potty training.
  5. Take advice from everyone but most importantly listen to your child – they will let you know when they’re ready, and follow your gut. A mom’s gut knows best!

Best of luck and and remember, we all pooped on carpets once too! This too shall pass!

Mom-Hacks We’re All Guilty Of

Motherhood, along with all of life’s obligations, can often have you looking for any shortcut possible to make it through another day. Parenting, to most of us, is pretty much a daily quest for survival. If anyone says they don’t take shortcuts out of exhaustion or pure laziness from time-to-time when it comes to parenting – they’re full of sh*t. Doing the best you can, when you can, does not make you an awful  parent; it makes you awesome.

So next time you find yourself doing one of these mom-hacks below – know that most of us have too, or at least have thought about it.

Drop your older kid off at school and the younger kids are still in their pajamas. This only means you’re being resourceful with your time and energy – not being a bad mom. Hell, the other parents are lucky you wear yoga pants to bed or you’d be in straight up pajamas, too.

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Look at your phone while your kids are playing at the park. I had a women tell me once I shouldn’t look at my phone because I was with my kids. She, of course, was kid-free so easy for her to say. Yes, you look at your phone to peep Facebook. So what? It’s normal to want to feel connected to other adults when you’re stuck in kid-prison all day. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids or enjoy your time with them, it means that every now and again you need a mental break from them. This is normal people so lay off the judgment. If you’re so amazing, go pat yourself on your perfect back while I scroll on my iPhone.

Feed your kids cereal for dinner a few nights a week. Some nights you just can’t muster up the energy to cook a meal, or even a boxed meal for that matter. Kids love cereal, it’s easy to make, and it’s food. Voilá.

You let water-play outside suffice as a bath. Hey, it’s water and it rinses off all the dirt and sweat. There’s no fighting to get your kids to do it. You don’t have to wash their hair. You don’t have to clean up a gallon of water off the bathroom floor, nor do you get soaked in the process. Sounds like a dream to me!

sprinkler

You run (not walk) out of the house for a girl’s night. You need a break, too. When you get a mental break; your kids benefit as well. Take as much alone time as you need, and do it without the guilt. Having time to yourself allows you to come back refreshed and with guns blazing to survive another day. You deserve it!

Some days being a mediocre parent is all we can be; and that is something to still be proud of. As long as your kids know they’re infinitely loved and they have all the essentials ­– I would say that’s a parenting win.

Things I Did When I Was Kid-Free

This past weekend I was able to take a quick trip to Texas, my home state, to visit family and attend a concert. I tend to get anxious when traveling alone because I hate to leave my babies behind and at the mercy of a free-for-all schedule. At least when I’m home I know my kids eat, nap and bathe (just kidding, Adam!). Either way, I forced myself to go because everyone needs a break once in a while – especially moms.

Once I got to the airport I realized how much I desperately needed this trip and how nice it actually was to travel kid-free. I thought it would be fun to keep a running list of all the things I was able to do since I didn’t have my littles dictating all my time and energy on this trip.

Doing these simple things felt even more glorious than I remembered from my pre-kid days.

  • I traveled with only a carry-on. I have to admit it felt a little odd only having a purse and a carry-on – almost as if I was naked. I typically get to the gate and have twitching arm syndrome due to carrying kids, bags, car seats, strollers, etc. This time I leisurely strolled up to the gate and comfortably sat in peace while I waited to board the plane. Nothing short of amazing.

luggage

  • I breezed through the TSA checkpoint. No breaking down baby gear, pulling out breast milk for testing, taking off layers of jackets, chasing down toddlers to guide them through medal detectors, or getting dirty looks from other travelers – just one bag and me. It was heaven on earth.
  • I sat up front on the plane. Normally I head to the back of the plane in case my kids act like raging lunatics, but this time I sat in front. Why is this such a luxury? Because when we landed I got off the plane within a few minutes, verses the normal 20 it takes to round up babies and personal belongings. I felt so VIP.
  • I read my book in-flight without interruption. I’m lucky if I make it through five pages of a book in normal life even when my kids are in bed. Making it through several chapters was a huge accomplishment.
  • I didn’t have to kid-proof the hotel room. When traveling with my babies I usually have to inspect the room and eliminate any dangers, move breakables, cover outlets, and look for small objects that can get lodged in my kids’ throat. It’s exhausting. This time I just walked in and fell into the plush bed that was all mine. Cue the angels signing.
  • I took a shower and used the restroom in peace and without locking the door. Women throw privacy out the window once they become a mom. I typically can’t go into the bathroom without one, if not both kids. They always barge in on my showers and if I lock the door I hear at least 10 minutes of knocking and crying begging for entry.
  • I had adult conversations without interruption. Another first in a long time. I always tell my friends I’ll just talk to them in five years when both my kids are in school. Until then they’ll have to put up with me yelling commands or hearing my kids whining in the background.
  • I went to a concert that did not include any Disney characters. My sister and I went to the New Kids on the Block concert (no judging) and it was so fun to relive our childhood memories. It was an adult show and even though there were a bunch of screaming girls, at least it wasn’t my kid screaming. I’ll take it.

nkotb

  • I slept on the flight home.  Unfortunately sleeping is something I rarely get to experience, especially on a flight. After a long few days of uninterrupted fun a quick snooze on a night flight was just what I needed.

Yes, living the dream for those few short days was awesome and it made me remember just how easy life use to be. But I have to say, the best part of my vacation was getting attacked with hugs and kisses when I walked through the front door. It was pure heaven. If that’s the kind of reception I’ll always get – than I maybe it’s time for another vacation? Wishful thinking.