Strength Comes In Many Forms

Our parents shape who we are and on this Mother’s Day I’d like to thank my mom for always teaching (and showing) me how to be strong. 

At first site you would not think to use the word strong when describing my mom. She’s vertically challenged, coming in at less than five-feet tall, and she cries at every commercial on television. She’s always been an emotional person, but once you get to know her, you realize it’s because she only knows how to love deep. Her heart has always been showcased on her sleeve.

Fittingly, my mom was a nurse by trade. She started her career as an Army Medic, and then became an RN. She loved her patients and co-workers with intent. Most of her patients were older, or at the end of their days, so she often struggled not to get too attached. I could always tell, however, when she lost a patient that week. Even though she knew death was immanent, it never got easier for her. She finished out her career in hospice, which is something only the strong can do. She wanted to be someone for those who sometimes had no one – and her patients loved her for it.

My mom has never really been a stranger to tragedy. She lost her father at a young age, which devastated her entire family. She adored him and still, after 45+ years, she carries this pain. I carry his namesake. Before her father died, her boyfriend and first love, was killed in Vietnam. She joined the military soon after as a way to honor his memory. Shortly after joining the military she met my father, married and started a family. At the time, women could not be pregnant and go through training, so she decided to put her dreams on hold for love.

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After four kids (all of us lunatics) and several moves around the country, she sometimes lost herself in the chaos. As a mother now, I know that is easy to do. However, losing herself in her kids was not something she looked at as being negative. She loved us deeply, and would do it all over again even if it meant never realizing her dreams. We were always, and still are, her number one priority. When you’re able to love something more than you love yourself – that is strength.

Unfortunately my parents divorced when I was a teenager, and I saw my mom struggle even more. Struggle to find her ground and find her new place in life. Divorce is hard on everyone involved. She desperately wanted to keep things normal. At first, I would hear her cry at night and sometimes in the shower. I would sneak into her room while she lay fast asleep from exhaustion, and would pray that tomorrow would be a better day for her – for us. I know there were many times she wanted to wave a white flag in the air, but she always kept going – mostly for me. I didn’t know how to help her either. All I knew how to do was be a good kid so I didn’t add to her stress. I can’t say I always delivered, but even when I disappointed her she made it clear that her love for me would never falter – and we were in this together.

My parents had both always taught us to be strong and independent, but after this disruption in our lives, she kicked this lesson into high gear. She always emphasized that life could change in an instant, and I needed to know how to survive on my own.

She didn’t just teach me this lesson – she showed me. She went back to college and graduated in her 40s with a RN degree. She worked mostly overnight shifts because they paid more. Even after working 12-hour shifts at the hospital, she never missed one of my games in high school. She could also be heard the loudest, and sat front and center, beaming with pride for her daughter. You would have never known she hadn’t slept in almost 24 hours. Even though she may have not known it at the time, I was watching and learning how to be strong from her.

I always joke with her that she’s a crybaby, but what she doesn’t understand is I know there is strength in those tears. They are evidence of an unparalleled love, and a strong sense of pride she has as a mom. She taught me through strength I could do anything I dreamed of, and she was right. I know because I’m living out those dreams right now, and for that mom – I thank you. Happy Mother’s Day, I love you.

“Strength is not measured by how much you can take, it’s measured by how much you take – and continue to forge ahead.”

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What’s new with MGT2S?

Hi MG2S friends!

As you may have recently seen – my work has expended and is now published on many new sites. As a writer, this has been a dream come true for me. There is nothing more cool than seeing your name and photo on major global sites like Huffington Post, Scary Mommy and the TODAY Parenting Team.

This is happening!
This is happening!

I will continue to post regularly on here and have also provided my author pages below so you can follow me there as well.

Along with this expansion, I’ve recently signed two contracts for my work to be published in humor anthology books. I’ll post links on where to buy them as the information becomes available to me.

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I want to personally thank you for all of your support and for sharing MG2S stories with your friends and families for the last 2.5 years! I’m forever grateful.

*As someone who had a lot of help and support from other bloggers and writers out there, I’d love to now pay it forward. If you are a blogger and/or writer and need tips/advice on how to get your work published or gain a following – please feel free to email me at holly (at) hollyrust (dot) com.

Here’s to the continued success of Mother’s Guide to Sanity!

Xo,

Holly

 

 

Thank God For Modern Conveniences – How Lucky Our Kids Really Are

Post originally featured on Dot Complicated – by Randi Zuckerberg

Last week while on a trip home from the grocery store, I hit a curb and blew a tire. Upon pulling over, I immediately felt panic starting to set in. Not only did I have two small kids with me, but also hundreds of dollars worth of groceries in my trunk that needed refrigeration.

After running through “what to do next” strategies in my head, it suddenly occurred to me: Wait! I can just press the call button on my rearview mirror and roadside assistance will be here in no time. Next, I accessed the Über App on my iPhone to call a cab and had him take my kids, my husband and the groceries home. Fifteen minutes later a nice gentleman showed up, changed my tire and sent me on my way.

Fifteen years ago this situation would’ve played out very differently. In fact, during my teenaged years I had a blow out on an Interstate Highway on my way to my summer lifeguard job. This, of course, was before cell phones were readily available or affordable, so my plan of action was somewhat different. After I pulled over, I had to walk, over a mile, to the next exit wearing nothing more than a bathing suit and some shorts! True story. I was humiliated to say the least. Once I got to the exit, I then begged a vendor at a flea market to use his phone. He watched me closely as each minute used was very costly back then. Luckily, my brother answered our landline phone and told me he would come help. I gave the vendor $5 and hitched a ride with an elderly couple, who I made promise they wouldn’t kidnap me, back to my car. Several hours later I arrived at work and was greeted by a very angry boss. As a mom now, this story makes me cringe at all the things that could’ve happened to me.

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Each day, I read countless articles about how technology is ruining our youth, creating an “I want every thing yesterday” mentality, taking away from real human connections, and making life more difficult. However, I find these accusations to be the furthest from the truth. I believe technology has given us hope with medical advancements, it’s provided opportunities for businesses to grow exponentially, it’s connected us to long lost relatives, friends and strangers, but most importantly it’s given us back time. The last thing I want to do is waste hours of my day on life’s little inconveniences, like flat tires, when I’d much rather be spending that time with my family.

I feel my kids’ generation is quite lucky to be growing up in this age of technological advancement. I love that they’ll never know what it’s like to dial a number on a rotary phone, or have to wait up all night just to record their favorite song off the radio – only to have several seconds of it ruined by a DJ talking. They won’t have to drive to a store to rent a movie and then worry about racking up hundreds of dollars of late fees. They won’t have to carry their entire music collection around in a big heavy case so they can listen to one song at a time on their Walkman’s. They’ll never get lost because everyone has a GPS on their phone. Finally, they’ll have all the knowledge in the world available at their fingertips, rather then spending hours in a library searching through card catalogs or having to utilize the Dewy Decimal System.

Raise your hand if you had the "sport" one!
Raise your hand if you had the “sport” one!

I, for one, chose to embrace change and advancement, and take solace in knowing my kids will never have to walk down a highway to get help – in their bathing suits.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My New Obsession

I have a newfound obsession. Wait for it…..cloth diapers! I’ve been considering cloth diapering for a while now and always knew in the back of my mind it would save a lot of money and Miss Mother Earth. I’m not sure what my initial apprehension was besides admittedly being lazy.  With a toddler and a baby my time is money. I thought cloth diapering would be too time consuming and – for a lack of a better word – gross.

My only knowledge of cloth diapers was what our moms used on us back in the 70’s and 80’s. They used a tri-fold cotton rectangle fabric that was pretzel(ed) around our little waists and secured with safety pins – then topped off with some plastic under ware. This method did not appeal to me. Trying to put a regular diaper on a squirmy baby is sometimes torture, I couldn’t imagine having to pin it too!

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Wanting to learn more I reached out to a few friends to seek advice, but my curiosity eventually faded. It wasn’t until I actually saw a cloth diaper on a baby that made me immediately change my mind. Why did I change my mind? Because they are so freakin’ cute! The stylish girl I once had the time to be – had to have them!

Being an over analyzer, I did do some research before jumping into cloth diaper land. I wanted to make sure I had the patience (and stomach) to handle washing my own diapers, or if I needed to hire a service. I also wanted to calculate all expenses to make sure it was worth the investment. In the end, I decided to go for it and I haven’t missed disposable diapers yet!

In fact, since receiving my cloth diapers I’ve become very protective of my stash. It’s actually kind of weird. I count them everyday to make sure I know where they’re at. I also coordinate them by color and keep them on their own special shelf. My husband thinks I’m crazy, which is partially true, but I want to safeguard our investment since they have to last for the next few years.

In case you were on the fence regarding cloth diapering or didn’t know much about them (like me); I’ve complied a list of helpful tips below:

  • Watch Youtube videos! There are hundreds of tutorials on how to use and wash your diapers, along with reviews for all the different kinds of cloth diapers on the market.
  • Join Facebook groups on cloth diapering. They provide a lot information and there is always a live person to answer any questions. It’s like having your own personal customer service!
  • Try a couple from different brands to see what you like best before buying a full stash. I have G Baby, Bum Genius and Thirsites. So far I like them all. G Baby has cloth inserts and disposable inserts (which are flushable) to put inside a plastic insert. Bum Genius have pockets to insert the cotton insert or built in ones, and Thirsties you will need to by pre-fold inserts.
  • No blowouts with cloth diapers! This is amazing. I haven’t had any blowouts or leaks. They are a little more bulky than disposable diapers, but it hasn’t been a problem in regards to baby’s clothes fitting properly.
  • Buy a sprayer for your toilet. I have one made by BumGenius and it is very easy to install. You can use this to ‘spray’ off any residue from number 2’s, instead of dunking it in the toilet. It makes the clean up so much easier! They are $60 and worth it. Plus you can sell it later.

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  • Buy some odor / spot remover. You’ll need this if you launder yourself. I use Babyganics.
  • Buy a wet bag to store the diapers in until you do your wash – usually every two days. Try to let air in the bag otherwise the diapers get stinky.  You can find these on Diapers.com or Amazon.
  • Regarding washing – I do a rinse cycle (cold water), then wash with ¼ cup of laundry soap in hot water. Then I line dry or lay out to dry to save their life span. For stains, either do the above twice or lay them out in the sun. The sun naturally bleaches! It’s like magic!
  • You’ll need about 16-20 diapers to complete a stash, otherwise you’ll be doing laundry more often. Be sure to buy the diapers and inserts.
  • My electric nor water bill has increased from using the washing machine.
  • You can use the inserts as wipes to save money too.
  • A Chicago diaper service I would recommend (if you go that route) is Green Diaper Babies. The owner is Shannon, she’s awesome!
  • If you get diapers with Velcro make sure to close them before washing, or they fray any other items in the wash.  I learned this the hard way.

Overall, I love them! My only regret is not starting earlier! Let me know if you have any other questions in the comments or share your tips for our readers!

Here’s to saving money and the earth!

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The Other Woman

Every year we get the opportunity to wipe the slate clean and start a new. Many of us make resolutions to lose weight, pay off debt or lead a healthy lifestyle.  My goal this year is to reconnect with my husband and kick the other woman in our marriage to the curb. You may know her by the name of Siri.

Before Siri my husband and I would talk about our days or current events at the dinner table.  At bedtime, we would catch up on Breaking Bad and cuddle before going to sleep.  During our limited free time we would take walks around the city, grab coffee, dream up vacations we wanted to take in the future, or talk about our children.

There were times he fell into digital induced comas, but they were few and far between – until he met her.

I have to admit I first introduced them, which is something I now regret. My husband’s job required him to have a Blackberry, so he was not interested in getting an iPhone.  He was blissfully unaware of the instant obsession one gets when they get their first iPhone, and he liked it that way.  I begged him for months to get one so when he traveled he could Facetime with the kids and I at night.  I also wanted him to feed my addiction by playing Words With Friends with me.

Half way through the year his company finally switched to iPhones and then – I lost him. Siri, equipped with her sexy English accent he gave her, became the first woman he talked to in the morning and the last woman he talked to before going to bed.  She joins him in the bathroom, graces us with her presence at the dinner table every night, and even accompanies us on date nights.  There have been numerous occasions where he will have his laptop, iPad, the television and Siri all being utilized at the same time.  How many sports highlights, scores and games can you actually watch at once?  Who are you Jerry Maguire?  I’m afraid I have created a monster. Oh, and by the way he hates playing Words With Friends, so my entire plan backfired.

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As of the New Year I will no longer be an enabler or a participant.  We agreed our digital obsessions, particularly his, have gone too far.  Ms. Siri is now banned from the dinner table at home and on date nights. When our kids are awake we will now focus on them without looking at our phones constantly. Sunday’s are strictly family days with limited gadget play. Finally, Siri is no longer welcome in our bed. I’m sure she can find her own out in cyber space and stay out of mine.

I’m confident her sexy English accent could never replace my warm touch. My husband would agree, or at least I hope.

 

 

Lesson Learned: Ask Where The Reservations Are First

Earlier this week, Kari asked me to go to dinner.  Obviously any opportunity I get to hang out with girlfriends, I jump at the chance.  The day of Kari and I’s dinner date, my husband informed me he had to work late.  I called Kari to tell her I would have Sebastian, but asked if he could join us.  She said it shouldn’t be a problem, as he is pretty well behaved.

Later that evening in route to the restaurant she looked at me and said, “You know this place is really nice, like fine dining, right? Obama supposedly frequents this place.”  My response, “You know there is a kid in my back seat, like a toddler, right?”  My anxiety escalated as she tried to convince me all would be fine. I get embarrassed really easy, especially in public.

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To save me from having a heart attack,  Kari calls the restaurant to make sure kids were allowed. The hostess, without hesitation, said it would be fine.   Once we arrive, I lean into the hostess and quietly ask, “Can you put us at a table in a dark corner, preferably away from all other living beings. Thanks.”  Kari chimes in, “We will leave if the kid gets crazy.”

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Once we were seated (away from everyone else), I immediately pulled out my iPhone so the kid could watch Mickey. Phew that bought us about twenty minutes. The hostess then came over with a placemat and some crayons. Let’s be honest, she probably had to run down the street to the Cheesecake Factory to get those damn crayons, because I know kids rarely come here. The cheapest bottle of wine was $70! We made it through the salad course and much to our surprise, Sebe was a complete angel.  In fact, he was drinking out of a regular water class with such sophistication, you would have thought he was a natural.

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Kari and I were able to actually have a conversation and enjoy a three course meal without interruption. At one point my son looked at me and said, “Momma I mind my manners.”  For that… he got Gelato and a kiss.

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Once we settled the bill, I put his token batman jacket on and he ran through the restaurant holding his cape screaming, “I am Batman!”  He even did a little twirl by the hostess stand. Luckily all the old rich people left in the restaurant thought it was cute.

When we picked up the car, he proceeded to tell the valet attendant that he was VIP. Listen kid, let’s not get too big for our britches just yet. You’re 2. 

"I am BATMAN!"
“I am BATMAN!”