10 Reasons Why Living With A (Boy) Toddler Is Like Living In A Frat House

Now that I’m a mom of two boys, I’m slowly starting to realize how gross they really are. In fact, I feel like I’m re-living my college days when I was in a relationship with a fraternity boy.  Even though there are not any Greek letters hoisted above my front door; the smells and mess you encounter when you enter – will definitely have you questioning whether or not an entire fraternity lives here.  Hopefully one day, I’ll have my own private bathroom and space that will be off-limits to those grimy little minions – or at least have a live in housekeeper as soon as I win the lotto.

Until then, here are 10 reasons why living with a toddler (son) is like living in a frat house:

  • They Are Proud Of Their Bowel Movements. Every time my son goes to the bathroom he has to show me. “Momma, look what I did – Ta Da!” You know you’re a mom when you actually go look and then react by giving a high-five.
  • They Have Sub-Par Hygiene.   I have to threaten my son to brush his teeth.  I usually tell him his teeth are going to fall out if he doesn’t brush them.  Mean, I know, but I can’t stand his rotten carcass breath.  He wipes snot on his arms, his feet smell, and I’ll spare you the details and not discuss his butt-wiping capabilities.
  • They Have Poor Aim. Pee is everywhere.  Riddle me this – how hard is it to pee into a giant hole when you’re standing less than an inch away from the toilet? Why is this concept so difficult for men / boys?
  • They Pass Gas Anytime – Anywhere. Usually any breaking wind is accompanied by giggles so I don’t mind this as much. If you’re a grown man –then it’s not cute.
  • They Like To Touch Themselves.  Even my eight month old immediately reaches for his boy parts the second his diaper comes off. Just last week, my toddler pulled his pants down to show my mother-in-law his privates.  Men and their pride – I guess it starts at birth.
  • They Pull All-Nighters.  My son is going through a growth spurt and he’s a night owl, which means sleepless nights for me too.  Even if he goes to bed late he’s up by 6 am. I can’t wait until he’s a teenager and sleeps around the clock.
  • Their Rooms Are Trashed. I clean my boys’ room  at least four times a day and it still looks like a tornado ravished it. To find a pair of socks my son insists on pulling every piece of clothing out first and then proceeds to throw everything on the floor.
  • They Sneak In Your Bed. Always when you’re not looking too.  Every night my son goes to sleep in his bed, yet every morning I wake up and he’s in mine. Secretly I love this because one day he won’t want to cuddle with me, and I’m not ready for that just yet.
  • They Are Vomit Comets.  Toddlers are projectile vomit machines – in case you didn’t know. It usually happens when you’re wearing a nice outfit and it comes out of nowhere.
  • They Have No Filter. Leave it to your kid to embarrass you every chance they get. Offensive language is just part of their daily lives. Honesty is a virtue, but when you have a toddler – it’s a curse.

While I try teaching my son to mind his P’s and Q’s now, I’m hoping, as he gets older his manners will be more prominent in our daily lives. But first things first – we need to focus on his aim.

frat

 

 

My New Obsession

I have a newfound obsession. Wait for it…..cloth diapers! I’ve been considering cloth diapering for a while now and always knew in the back of my mind it would save a lot of money and Miss Mother Earth. I’m not sure what my initial apprehension was besides admittedly being lazy.  With a toddler and a baby my time is money. I thought cloth diapering would be too time consuming and – for a lack of a better word – gross.

My only knowledge of cloth diapers was what our moms used on us back in the 70’s and 80’s. They used a tri-fold cotton rectangle fabric that was pretzel(ed) around our little waists and secured with safety pins – then topped off with some plastic under ware. This method did not appeal to me. Trying to put a regular diaper on a squirmy baby is sometimes torture, I couldn’t imagine having to pin it too!

Bebes40s-2

Wanting to learn more I reached out to a few friends to seek advice, but my curiosity eventually faded. It wasn’t until I actually saw a cloth diaper on a baby that made me immediately change my mind. Why did I change my mind? Because they are so freakin’ cute! The stylish girl I once had the time to be – had to have them!

Being an over analyzer, I did do some research before jumping into cloth diaper land. I wanted to make sure I had the patience (and stomach) to handle washing my own diapers, or if I needed to hire a service. I also wanted to calculate all expenses to make sure it was worth the investment. In the end, I decided to go for it and I haven’t missed disposable diapers yet!

In fact, since receiving my cloth diapers I’ve become very protective of my stash. It’s actually kind of weird. I count them everyday to make sure I know where they’re at. I also coordinate them by color and keep them on their own special shelf. My husband thinks I’m crazy, which is partially true, but I want to safeguard our investment since they have to last for the next few years.

In case you were on the fence regarding cloth diapering or didn’t know much about them (like me); I’ve complied a list of helpful tips below:

  • Watch Youtube videos! There are hundreds of tutorials on how to use and wash your diapers, along with reviews for all the different kinds of cloth diapers on the market.
  • Join Facebook groups on cloth diapering. They provide a lot information and there is always a live person to answer any questions. It’s like having your own personal customer service!
  • Try a couple from different brands to see what you like best before buying a full stash. I have G Baby, Bum Genius and Thirsites. So far I like them all. G Baby has cloth inserts and disposable inserts (which are flushable) to put inside a plastic insert. Bum Genius have pockets to insert the cotton insert or built in ones, and Thirsties you will need to by pre-fold inserts.
  • No blowouts with cloth diapers! This is amazing. I haven’t had any blowouts or leaks. They are a little more bulky than disposable diapers, but it hasn’t been a problem in regards to baby’s clothes fitting properly.
  • Buy a sprayer for your toilet. I have one made by BumGenius and it is very easy to install. You can use this to ‘spray’ off any residue from number 2’s, instead of dunking it in the toilet. It makes the clean up so much easier! They are $60 and worth it. Plus you can sell it later.

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  • Buy some odor / spot remover. You’ll need this if you launder yourself. I use Babyganics.
  • Buy a wet bag to store the diapers in until you do your wash – usually every two days. Try to let air in the bag otherwise the diapers get stinky.  You can find these on Diapers.com or Amazon.
  • Regarding washing – I do a rinse cycle (cold water), then wash with ¼ cup of laundry soap in hot water. Then I line dry or lay out to dry to save their life span. For stains, either do the above twice or lay them out in the sun. The sun naturally bleaches! It’s like magic!
  • You’ll need about 16-20 diapers to complete a stash, otherwise you’ll be doing laundry more often. Be sure to buy the diapers and inserts.
  • My electric nor water bill has increased from using the washing machine.
  • You can use the inserts as wipes to save money too.
  • A Chicago diaper service I would recommend (if you go that route) is Green Diaper Babies. The owner is Shannon, she’s awesome!
  • If you get diapers with Velcro make sure to close them before washing, or they fray any other items in the wash.  I learned this the hard way.

Overall, I love them! My only regret is not starting earlier! Let me know if you have any other questions in the comments or share your tips for our readers!

Here’s to saving money and the earth!

alex diaper model

 

Seven Survival Tips When Traveling With Small Kids

If you’re a parent you’ve probably learned by now that vacationing with kids is really not a vacation at all. As someone who loves to travel, I was blindsided once having kids with all the do’s and don’ts of vacationing as a family. Traveling is not always easy, and some trips you may find are more trouble than they’re worth. I admit in past excursions I’ve made serious rookie mistakes that cost my family’s temporary sanity, but each trip down has been another lesson learned. I’m not an expert yet, but there have been less tears and more fun infused in our recent vacations.

In lieu of summer break when families tend to go on their great adventures, I’ve compiled a list of survival tips when traveling with kids. You can thank me later.

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It’s not about you – it’s about them. Once you realize this, you’ll enjoy yourself a lot more. Kids do not understand the concept of relaxation, nor do they care about white-sand beaches and exquisite food and wine. Choose a destination that welcomes and caters to kids. I love the Apps MiniTime and Trekaroo; they give you lists of kid friendly hotels, attractions, restaurants and shopping in any destination!

Lower Your Expectations. Expect the worst, hope for the best. Many of us build up these grand illusions of our vacations, only to be disappointed when real life gets in the way. There will be delays, fights, and snags in your plans. Accept it and prepare, that’s all you can do. When you set your expectations low, everything else will seem like a bonus!

Plan Travel Times During Nap Times. If you have a three-hour flight, try to plan it when your little ones usually nap. At first the excitement will take over, but once they feel the vibration of the plane – it’s lights out. Once your kids are asleep, that’s when your vacation really starts! Go ahead and have that glass of wine or dive into your book because this peace will not last.

Stay Away From Sugar. Don’t, I repeat, don’t give your kids any candy, juice, chocolate, etc., during travel times. You might think this is a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised. Once on a flight with my toddler, the flight attendant gave my son a piece of chocolate candy to try and deter him from yelling, “Wakey, Wakey” to all the sleeping passengers around us. In theory it may have been a good idea, but I still had two hours to tame the wild beast in him before we landed. I cried on that flight and luckily I had veteran parents around me consoling me. I vowed never to fly with him alone again – and I haven’t.

Pack Heavy. This mostly pertains to toys and entertainment. Young kids have the attention span of a dog. Any shinny thing in their line of sight will send them running. Take a whole suitcase of toys, extra batteries, chargers, and coloring books, really anything that fits. Don’t be the idiot who forgets to charge the iPad before you get on a plane too – like me. Download a lot of kid friendly Apps that don’t require the Internet in case your flight or car doesn’t have Wi-Fi. Some of my favorites are: Moonfrye, KidsDoodle, PBS Kids, and Puzzingo.

Make An Itinerary. Create a schedule of events and stick to it. Kids are creatures of habit; they like to follow schedules and direction. Fill their days up with activities so at night they welcome sleep. More sleep for them, more peace for you. Trust me on this – a bored kid equals a disaster.

Bring help. If possible bring guests on your trip. Parents, in-laws, friends and nannies make for great babysitters when you need a break. As much money as you spend on these vacations you deserve at least one kid-free dinner with your significant other.

Overall, the most important thing you need to remember is to let your kids be kids on vacation. Once you allow this, it might just bring out the inner-kid in you.

 

Five Rules When Play – Dating

Since becoming a parent I’ve tried to focus on building my network of new-parent friends, but truth be told, it’s been difficult. Being a busy, working mom, I barely have any energy at the end of the day. When I pick up my kids from daycare the last thing I want to do is socialize and scout out new play-date potentials.  Because let’s be honest here, I’m really just scouting out the other moms to see if they are as cool as me – who cares if the kids get along, right?  Most toddlers don’t get along anyway.  They spend all their playtime fighting and tattling on who’s not sharing. I’m the one who needs the friend – and a drinking buddy.

Through this awkward scouting process I’ve realized that rules apply when setting up play-dates, just as they did when you were a participant on the dating scene.

To help you in your quest for the perfect partner, here are five rules you need to know when jumping into the play-dating pool.

  1. Always approach the other parent as a better version of yourself. You know… like you’re the perfect mom who does it all and has it all. Why wouldn’t she want to hang around you and be just as fabulous?

 

  1. Make the initial interaction seem spontaneous. Meaning – you’ve actually been scouting them for a while, however you don’t want them to think you’re some kind of creep-ster. Randomly approach them and start the conversation with, “I don’t normally do this, but…”.  They know you’re a liar – but at least it breaks the ice.

 

  1. Ask for their E-mail address not their phone number. No one likes phone calls these days.Who has time for that? If you do get a number, only text. Just like with dating you want to abide by the three-day rule. If you reach out the same night you met, you’ll seem like a stalker who doesn’t have any other friends. Also, when emailing make sure to stress how busy you are, but may be able to squeeze them in. This always makes you sound important.

 

  1. Ease into the ‘Friend Request’. Wait until after a few play-dates to build a Facebook, or any other social media, relationship. Again, you’ll seem way to eager. Plus, I would rather have a few conversations before you see pictures of me from college dancing on bars that my friends so graciously posted for Throw-Back-Thursday.

 

  1. On the play-date make sure your kid doesn’t do the first ‘asshole’ thing. You don’t want to be the first one to say, “He normally doesn’t act like this, he’s just tired.” Truth is – your kid does act like this most of the time, but you can’t blow his cover until after the honeymoon phase. Once the honeymoon phase is over, you can settle into a nice, real, relationship and start fighting over which kid left the toilet seat up.

It would be nice, like when dating, if moms could just cut to the chase. Aren’t we a little too old for games? Weren’t we tortured enough just trying to land our husbands? Either way, if you follow these simple rules above you’re sure to build your network of mom-friends. Off to scout more play-dates!

 

Managing Work Expectations in a Plugged-In-World

By now we all know that managing life, family, and a career can sometimes seem impossible. With the advancement of technology over the last two decades, work tasks have become much easier. However, these advancements have created an always-accessible work expectation. Having worked in corporate America for over a decade, the most important thing I’ve learned is how imperative it is to set boundaries not only for yourself – but for your superiors as well.

Setting boundaries and adhering to them promotes a healthy work-life balance. Working hard does not mean working longer hours or being plugged-in at all times. In fact, working longer hours has proven to be unproductive. The more time you allow yourself to complete a task, the more time you will take to do so. Before long you’ll find yourself overwhelmed and the quality of your work will inevitably suffer.

Working hard by working smart is the key to a successful balance. You must know your limits and know when it’s necessary to unplug. If you allow your colleagues to always interrupt your personal time – this will become habit. If you answer client emails at midnight – this will become their future expectation. Once these behaviors are set, there’s no turning back. I spent many years learning this the hard way. What started out as kind gestures, quickly turned into the status quo.  Eventually this environment I created took over my life.

Working after birth

(Picture of me the day after I gave birth – still working)

Accessibility can be beneficial if you know how to manage it. Technology allows you to work from anywhere, but it also allows you to always work. Here are some tips to assist you in learning how to manage your accessibility.

Each day periodically use the DND (Do not disturb) button on your phone.

If you are up against a deadline try to limit all your distractions for at least an hour. You’ll be amazed at how much you get done. Use this button on your cell phone once you get home too, even if it’s only a few nights a week. It allows you to focus on your family and enjoy your free time without constantly checking email or text messages.

Learn to say “No”.

Don’t get the reputation of always saying, “Yes!” Once the word gets out, everyone will bring his or her concerns and projects to you. You have enough on your plate, so it is perfectly acceptable to decline from time to time.

Vacation means you’re on vacation.

Answering emails and making calls while on vacation is a big mistake. It’s rare to even take a vacation, so why not enjoy it? If you seem available, work will make you available.

Prioritize your tasks.

If something can wait until tomorrow – do it tomorrow. I used to be that person who had to clear my desk before I went home. Once I learned how to delegate and prioritize my work in order of importance, I was able to manage my day and get home at a decent hour. Set a goal of what you need to accomplish and work toward it in your allotted time. Anything remaining will be there when you wake up – I promise.

Set your expectation early on.

Let people know your limits. Do not answer calls or emails unless it’s an urgent matter. If you do respond, let people know it was the exception. Don’t feel guilty about taking and enjoying free time – you and your family deserve it.

Curbing My Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – One Child At A Time

People told me when I was pregnant the second time around, I would feel like a professional and not stress near as much with this baby, but I was not convinced. Did they not know me? I, by nature, am a type A, anxiety ridden, crazy person.

Right before my second son was born I began reflecting and taking notes on all the things I did with my first son to try and prepare myself. Once I reached the end of the list, I could already feel the tightening in my chest from the anxiety. How was I going to keep up with all this and look after a toddler too? After closer evaluation I thought to myself: Is this a joke? What an idiot! Right then and there I decided it would be best if my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and I – parted ways. Moving forward I would have a go-with-the-flow type of attitude, or else I knew I would drive myself straight to the grave trying to keep up. So far this attitude has been working. Not only has this approach minimized my anxiety, but I actually enjoy parenting a lot more this time around. Who knew?

Below are just a few obsessive behaviors I demonstrated with my first son that I have completely abolished with my second. I won’t be mad if you judge me for being the anal retentive person that I was. Please feel free.

  • I had to have every latest-and-greatest piece of baby gear on the market. This is Chicago. Why did I fill my tiny condo with crap I barely even used, if at all?
  • He ate every two hours on the dot. There was no veering from that schedule no matter where we were or what was going on.
  • For two weeks after his birth, I made my husband take shifts with me where we would stay up 24 hours and watch the baby sleep to make sure he was breathing. The shifts were three hours each. Question: Why does my husband still love me?
  • I sprinted to the ER for everything! Scratches, rashes, coughing, eye goop – you name it, I thought it was an emergency! I’m sure the doctors rolled their eyes each time they saw me come in.
  • I dressed him to the nine’s – at all times. He looked as if he was attending an Oscar party just to go to daycare. What baby doesn’t need a sweater vest and designer jeans to finger-paint?
  • I had four strollers! One for the car seat to snap in, one for walking, one for running and one for travel.
  • I carried hand sanitizer and would make anyone who wanted to touch him douse themselves in it first.
  • When he went to sleep – our lives stopped. No movement or noises were allowed. Maybe that’s why it took over three years to have another baby?
  • Anytime I left the house, even if to only get gas, I would take the entire nursery with me along with a diaper bag.
  • I had several outfit changes for him at all times. If one drip of salvia touched his outfit, I would change him.
  • I dressed him like he was on the bomb squad just to ride his tricycle.

Helicopter moms: ante up! I see you and raise you by a million.  While most of my friends would still say I hover more than the average mom, at least they would agree I’m no longer holding residence at the insane asylum.

I'm holding on for dear life!
I’m holding on for dear life!

 

My (Last) First’s

Remember when I adamantly begged all of you to talk me down from the ledge the minute I started considering a third child? Well my friends – the time has arrived. My son is only five months old and I’m already yearning to give him another sibling.

With my first son I was so excited for each milestone and couldn’t wait for the next. I remember cheering aloud the minute he could hold his own bottle or could sit up without assistance because, selfishly, this meant less work for me. I loved seeing him grow and learn new things, take his first steps and say new words. It was all so heartwarming and as a new parent it made me feel as if I was doing something right.

With my new baby the table has completely turned. Each first milestone accomplished for him – is one last milestone experience for me. It wasn’t until I witnessed him smile for the first time that I realized I might never get to experience this moment again. The minute the corners of his mouth bowed up into his cheeks as he lovingly gazed into my eyes, a feeling of pure happiness came over me followed by one of deep sadness. I couldn’t tell if my tears were that of joy or pain. Those were feelings I wasn’t prepared for and apparently neither was my uterus.  My mind was begging for another baby while my body was running for the hills.

I dare you not to smile from this!
I dare you not to smile from this!

Now with each move my baby makes I alert my husband with a sad face and state, “That was my last first.” I cried after his first giggle, when he rolled himself over, when he first grabbed his lovie, and even when he had his first big diaper blowout. Yes, I didn’t even mind cleaning up the epic mess that sprawled all the way up his back and into his hair.

Some might say this is a tinge of postpartum depression. My husband likes to joke that I have eternal baby fever because babies are essentially like crack cocaine to me. He’s right, I’m obsessed – it’s a problem. But maybe I feel so desperate for another because I know my fertile days are numbered? Or because closing the baby-making chapter in my life sounds a bit depressing. That would mean I’m getting older and that’s a hard pill to swallow. Where’s the fountain of youth when you need it?

Knowing my history with getting pregnant and carrying the baby itself, the odds of us having another child is pretty slim to none. Plus, I’m pretty sure I would have to Roofie my husband and take advantage of his comatose state to get pregnant. He is absolutely not on board the third-baby-having-train. He also has no plans of changing his ticket either, unless of course, I relentlessly beg him and remind him of the old saying, “Happy Wife – Happy Life”.

Until we come to our ultimate decision my coping mechanisms will be to try and capture every second of his life so I can replay them over and over again. I will also remember to savor each and every hug, kiss and cuddle. I may even be that mom who nurses her son until he’s ten to keep our bond strong. Just kidding I’m not that crazy – only until he’s eight. In the meantime, I’m afraid I might need a psychiatrist on hand. Know any good ones?

Losing The Dreaded Pregnancy Weight

There are very few things in life more difficult than losing weight, especially as you get older. It takes dedication and a commitment to make life changes.  As humans we are creatures of habit and unfortunately we pick up bad habits rather quickly.

I recently had my second baby and as a normally petite 5’2” woman, pregnancy has never my strong suit. I also have a giant husband who measures in at a whopping 6’5”.  Together we produced two very large, tall, boys.

Going into this pregnancy I knew it would be my last so I didn’t restrain myself from any cravings. If I wanted a cookie, I was going to eat a cookie… okay, maybe two cookies – who’s counting anyways? I also headed up the Catering department at a luxury hotel so indulging in amazing food was not something I was ever going to turn down.  Pregnant women like to joke they are now eating for two, but let’s be honest here; the second person is practically the size of a melon. I’m sure they don’t require a whole cookie just for themselves.

I admit my love for food is unparalleled, pregnant or not.  This obsession coupled with hypothyroidism, hormone treatments, and an intense sweet tooth caused me to gain nearly 20lbs before I even became pregnant.  During my pregnancy I gained another 40lbs, so I knew once this baby arrived – I would have my work cut out for me.  In my last trimester I put together a weight loss game plan.  I knew if I waited I would get caught up in the daily struggles of taking care of a newborn and my goals may have been sidelined.

preggo

Let me first state that I am not a weight loss expert, a doctor, a nutritionist or even a personal trainer – I am just a busy mom who is passionate about my health and the example I set for my boys.

The first step was writing my goals down and sharing them with friends and family. I am a firm believer in sharing your goals so you are held accountable for them.  Plus, you can use the encouragement and support you receive as inspiration to continue on your path.  Next, I created a realistic timeline.  It takes nine months to put on the weight and it very well may take nine months (or longer) to take it off. Being a mom is stressful enough so be sure to make attainable goals, as you want your weight loss to be a healthy one.  Finally, I downloaded some helpful Apps to track my progress and started following a few fitness blogs. Over the last several months, I continued to stay true to myself and my goals.  If I cheated one day, I made a conscious effort not to do it the next day or any future days.

Below are some tips that helped me reach my goal weight:

  • I wrote down my goals and shared them.
  • I chose to nurse my son.  Nursing, if you can and choose to, will help you lose up to 500 calories a day! This helped tremendously with my initial weight loss.
  • I toned down my portions. Eating off of a salad plate rather than a dinner plate helped me gain perspective on my portion sizes.
  • I eat very little dairy, refined sugars and gluten.  Diary and gluten can give your baby gas when nursing so giving them up was a win for both my baby and me.  I know gluten-free products can be expensive so try substituting one item at a time that your budget allows.
  • Sweets are now just an occasional treat, not part of my daily meal plan. I do miss my cookies though!
  • I signed up for a Mommy Fit class. These classes are a great way to incorporate your baby into your fitness routine, and are  perfect networking opportunities for you to meet other new moms.
  • I enjoy running as a cardio workout so I signed up for future races to keep my goals ongoing.
  • I follow fitness / healthy lifestyle blogs religiously.  Three of my favorites: New mom, Kelsey Byers Fitness, Becci Prather Fitness, and Angela Carpenter, The Yoga Life Blog.  All give recipes, food recommendations, fitness routine suggestions and post videos to show the ‘How To’.
  • I have two Apps that I also use religiously: The Nike + Running App to track my miles and running goals and My Fitness Pal to track my calories, food intake and exercise goals.
  • When the baby naps I try to use that time to work out, whether it’s simple floor exercises, push-ups or using hand weights.
  • This one may sting a little… I consume very little alcohol. Alcohol is a complete waste of calories and it also prevents me from nursing my son.  I now consider it only as a treat on special occasions. The nightly glass of wine for relaxation is now a thing of the past.

baby weight

Today my son is almost five months old and my progress has exceeded my expectations. When I checked into the hospital I weighed 185lbs, I currently weigh 120lbs. I feel amazing but most importantly – I feel healthy.

 

 

Five Reasons To Ditch Dad: Guest Post From Jennifer Coburn Author Of: We’ll Always Have Paris

Thank you so much to Jennifer Coburn for her guest post below and for being kind enough to share her book, We’ll Always Have Paris, with me. I truly loved this heartwarming yet humorous memoir about her and her daughters travels and how it taught her to live like there’s no tomorrow.

Jennifer has always been terrified of dying young. So she decides to save up and drop everything to travel with her daughter, Katie, on a whirlwind European adventure before it’s too late. Even though her husband can’t join them, even though she’s nervous about the journey, and even though she’s perfectly healthy, Jennifer is determined to jam her daughter’s mental photo album with memories—just in case.

From the cafés of Paris to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, Jennifer and Katie take on Europe one city at a time, united by their desire to see the world and spend precious time together. In this heartwarming generational love story, Jennifer reveals how their adventures helped vanquish her fear of dying…for the sake of living.

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We are doing a giveaway for a free copy!  To enter leave a comment below or like the Facebook post. We will announce the winner on Friday.

You can pre-order your copy here.  All proceeds before April 8th will go to the American Cancer Society in honor of Jennifer’s father, Shelly.

You can also watch the book trailer here

 

Guest Post: Five Reasons To Ditch Dad

When I tell people I left my husband at home when I took my daughter to Europe, they assumed my marriage was on the skids. One mother even confided, “I ditch mine whenever I can too.”

The truth is I would’ve loved if William could have joined Katie and me on our overseas adventure. But when he said he couldn’t come along I had two choices: stay home or go without him. I had very little experience traveling, so the idea of being the only adult – the sole person responsible for absolutely every aspect of the trip – was more than a bit daunting.

I decided to go anyway and I’m so glad I did. Katie and I definitely had our misadventures, but really it wasn’t as tough as I thought it would be. And there were some very real benefits to traveling without dad as listed below:

Trying new roles – When one person is missing from the equation, the family dynamic changes. If William had come with us to Europe, I would have gladly handed him the map and let him assume his natural role as family navigator. Without him, I had to figure out where the heck we were going, and how to read the Godforsaken map. Know what? I can navigate. (I just don’t like it.)

Creating Mommy memories – William and Katie have very similar interests. They watch Dr. Who, Merlin, Sherlock, and Big Bang Theory together. (And now that raunchy cartoon Archer!) They run together; they take rock-climbing class together. They have discussions about science that I can’t even understand, much less participate in. I’ve got to admit, I kind of like getting rid of the competition for a few weeks so Katie and I could discover our shared interests and create our memories.

Meeting new people – People reach out to a woman traveling alone with children in a way they don’t when they see dad’s along. Sure, there are those European Casanovas who think American women are easy and make their move. And yes, there are a handful of miscreants who see a woman sans a man as an easy target for a purse snatching. But mainly people want to help a mother and children make their way through Europe enjoyably. Katie and I got more free meals and invitations than we ever do when William is with us.

Saving money – Let’s face it, dads take up a lot of space and eat a lot of food. When Katie and I travel with William, our costs don’t increase by half, they double!

Letting absence make your heart grow fonder – Katie and I have now taken four long trips to Europe together, and each time we miss William terribly. We get over it pretty quickly because, hey, we’re missing him from Paris. But we do feel his absence, which reminds us of all the things we love about him. Coming home to him is that much sweeter.

So go ahead and take that trip without him – you’ll be glad you did!

 

 

 

 

 

7 Things You Do If You’re A Parent Of Young Children

Remember when you first found out you were going to be a parent?  I bet you swore you would never do things you saw other parents do.  You also probably thought you would still be able to partake in adult activities, maintain an immaculate home, and not let your kids dictate your life.

So how’s that working out for you?  

 Not going as planned?

 That’s what I thought.

Before becoming a parent – I too believed in this fantasy.  Now I’ve accepted the things I can’t change and have embraced the nuances that coincide with parenting young children. There are specific certainties that parents of infants and toddlers just have to succumb to. We all belong to a special club and membership requires some if not all of the following:

 

Your living room looks like you put a couch in the middle of Gymboree.

I swore once we had kids that our living room would remain kid-free. Unfortunately, this only lasted a few months. Now it’s plagued with toys and baby gear even though we have a designated playroom downstairs. The couch and ottoman are now used as a trampoline and the television console has become the emergency stop for all my son’s racecars. We used to have nice things – not so much anymore.  

There goes my 'adult' space
There goes my ‘adult’ space

Your car is a place where Goldfish go to die.

The car wash has actually charged me extra when I take my car in to get cleaned. When they see me pull in, half of the staff suddenly goes on break. My car has definitely seen better days, which didn’t include sticky chocolate milk stains and remnants of Goldfish crackers smashed into the carpets.

 

You now dine with senior citizens.

Dinnertime with kids is now at 5 pm. If and when you are able to go to a restaurant, you will only be in the company of senior citizens or other families with small children. Once you’re there you have a very limited time to shovel all your food in your face and then race home before the clock strikes bedtime.  If you don’t make the bedtime deadline your kids will turn into little demons. Not exaggerating.

 

You no longer get embarrassed.

The days of caring what others think are long gone after the first few hundred times your kid acts like a raging lunatic in public.  You become a pro at ignoring them and everyone else.  You also find yourself doing embarrassing things like: smelling your kids butt to see if they have a dirty diaper, licking their face to clean it and even picking their nose. 

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You will never be on-time again.

Even if you plan ahead, set everything out the night before and wake up early – you will still be running late. Your kids have no concept of time nor do they care about being punctual. The simplest thing like putting on their jacket can take up to 20 minutes.  The world now revolves around them.  You’ll need to accept this early in the game in order to keep your sanity.

 

You know every character and song played on Disney Junior.

You can’t remember the last time you watched a non-animated show.  You find yourself singing the songs and getting excited for any new episodes of your child’s favorite cartoons – because ultimately these will serve as the babysitter when you need a break. You may even find yourself sitting in an arena watching all the characters singing and skating around on ice.  Never say never.

 

You have become an expert at multi-tasking.

You quickly learn how to utilize your time wisely.  Who knew you could prep dinner while feeding your baby, paying your bills, loading some laundry and even checking Facebook all at the same time? I often wear my baby around the house so I can have my hands free to take care of other things.  As a parent you have to get creative or you will never get anything done.

 

I’m sure there are many more behaviors that bond us as parents with small children, these are just some of my favorites.  What are the tell-tale signs of parents with small children to you?