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Lesson Learned: Ask Where The Reservations Are First

Earlier this week, Kari asked me to go to dinner.  Obviously any opportunity I get to hang out with girlfriends, I jump at the chance.  The day of Kari and I’s dinner date, my husband informed me he had to work late.  I called Kari to tell her I would have Sebastian, but asked if he could join us.  She said it shouldn’t be a problem, as he is pretty well behaved.

Later that evening in route to the restaurant she looked at me and said, “You know this place is really nice, like fine dining, right? Obama supposedly frequents this place.”  My response, “You know there is a kid in my back seat, like a toddler, right?”  My anxiety escalated as she tried to convince me all would be fine. I get embarrassed really easy, especially in public.


To save me from having a heart attack,  Kari calls the restaurant to make sure kids were allowed. The hostess, without hesitation, said it would be fine.   Once we arrive, I lean into the hostess and quietly ask, “Can you put us at a table in a dark corner, preferably away from all other living beings. Thanks.”  Kari chimes in, “We will leave if the kid gets crazy.”


Once we were seated (away from everyone else), I immediately pulled out my iPhone so the kid could watch Mickey. Phew that bought us about twenty minutes. The hostess then came over with a placemat and some crayons. Let’s be honest, she probably had to run down the street to the Cheesecake Factory to get those damn crayons, because I know kids rarely come here. The cheapest bottle of wine was $70! We made it through the salad course and much to our surprise, Sebe was a complete angel.  In fact, he was drinking out of a regular water class with such sophistication, you would have thought he was a natural.


Kari and I were able to actually have a conversation and enjoy a three course meal without interruption. At one point my son looked at me and said, “Momma I mind my manners.”  For that… he got Gelato and a kiss.


Once we settled the bill, I put his token batman jacket on and he ran through the restaurant holding his cape screaming, “I am Batman!”  He even did a little twirl by the hostess stand. Luckily all the old rich people left in the restaurant thought it was cute.

When we picked up the car, he proceeded to tell the valet attendant that he was VIP. Listen kid, let’s not get too big for our britches just yet. You’re 2. 

"I am BATMAN!"
“I am BATMAN!”



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Holly Rust is a native Texan currently living in the great city of Chicago with her husband and two sons. Aside from chasing around two lunatic boys all day, she is a writer, author, and runs a global skin care business. Her blog was featured on The TODAY Show’s List of Funniest Parents on Facebook. You can find her work on HuffPo, Good Housekeeping, Town & Country, Scary Mommy, Dot Complicated, TODAY and many more. You can also find her essays published in several anthologies. Follow her random thoughts on Facebook and Instagram – but no judging.

Comments (1)

  • OMG…I die! That is HILARIOUS! I love him!!!


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